Controlled Chaos

I am a person that struggles with OCD to some extent. I like things in their place, a certain way. I'm not the kind that will check the lights 5 times to be sure they are turned off, but definitely the type to be sure all the shampoo/conditioner bottles are turned label out and the bath towels are hung with the tag in...Yeah, structured...err, insanely so. On top of that, I struggle with ADD issues. That probably explains why I am happiest when organizing things, but the reason they never get done. If you ask me (and, anyone who knows me can attest), I'll tell you that I have at least a dozen projects started. That's right, started...not finished.

Anyway, enough background for you....to the reason for the post: Middle school students and volunteering to serve them-be a part of their lives.

About three years ago, I made the move from serving each weekend with children ages 2 to 4 years old to serving with 6th grade students. There was something about the environment (called 56 at my church which stands for 5th and 6th grade). There was an energy that I couldn't explain that I felt in the first 10 minutes of being in the room. I wanted a piece of that. It inspired me.

To be a life group leader, you end up with a group of students (girls in my case), generally about 10 to 12 or so, that you work with each week to discuss the lesson and challenge them to dig deeper in their spiritual walk and apply the lesson to their lives. You also keep tabs on them here and there...check in on them, you know. It sounded daunting when they first explained it, but I so loved that energy that I wanted to give it a shot.

You know my biggest worries?
1.) I wouldn't have the answer if asked a question of the Bible.
2.) I wouldn't be able to dress cool enough to fit in.

Sad on both counts. I wasn't raised in a Christian home and really was nervous that one of the students would site a scripture I had no clue of...GASP! I know, both seem kind of silly, but were valid anxieties that I was feeling. Many of my friends expressed doubt that I was planning to serve in this environment...They kept saying things like: "Oh, Amy...you know that it is crazy in there, right?...Amy, are you crazy? Why would you want to serve with those MIDDLE SCHOOLERS?" (They acted like they had the plague or something or would eat me?...)

Fast forward to today...I've been serving in middle school ministry, have moved up with them each year and now walk alongside them as 8th graders in JCrew. I've gotten the honor of attending weekly gatherings structured just for these students, all night events, community service events, 3 winter retreats and 3 summer week-long retreats, as well as life group events at my home or the nearest mall. These events are action packed, sleep-deprived events that require immense patience, a good supply of coffee and often tend to use up a number of vacation days.

You know what? I would not trade any one of them for something else. I would not trade one of them for a beach trip or a cabin trip. I would not trade one afternoon spent texting a student afraid of a failed test. I would not trade one week away with 200 students. I would not trade 24 hours of serving and cleaning and praying in inner city Philadelphia. Every single trip, every one, caused me to walk away with a greater appreciation for God and what He does in their lives...and in mine. Every trip gave me a greater appreciation for what God is doing in the hearts of these students. Every trip left me wanting more involvement.

You know what else? I've discovered that middle school ministry is far from chaotic and unstructured. To the observer (or some of my friends), it many seem that way...but, I've seen what goes into an event, seen what goes into a weekend gathering. There is an immense amount of planning to be sure that the environment is just right, that just the right song is played, that this pause be taken or that joke be made to make sure that the students have that opportunity to have it "click." I've also gotten to see the clicking part...you know, when a student finally "gets" it...realizes the power of the salvation offerred them and accepts it right where they are.

A few weeks ago, I got to be in the water for the baptism of one of these students. She wasn't a student from my life group, but one that I have had the pleasure to have at a few retreats. I had not had the opportunity to read her story prior to her baptism, so I wasn't sure what would be read from her letter. As I stood there encouraging her, I heard it: "I've always grown up learning about God, but it wasn't until my first retreat at UE that I really got to know Jesus and connect with him." Tears welled in my eyes...she had been with me for my very first week long summer retreat. In some small way, the lessons we learned and I helped teach (that we are all the family of God) made an impact. I was flooded with emotion that God had used me, even if I didn't realize it at the time. Seeds planted, sort of thing right there.

I'm often reminded that I wish I would have had a place to go like this when I was in junior high...someone to guide me, a "good" group of kids that do life together through thick and thin. But, I guess I get to be that in the smallest of ways for someone else and appreciate that they need it. Will I ever have all the answers?...I doubt it. But...

I now have come to realize that
1.) If I don't know, it is okay to say "I'm not sure, but let's find out together." and
2.) The students don't care what you wear or how you look as long as they know you love them and are there for them, accepting them right where they are in life and not judging them but challenging them.

So, it has been the perfect fit. I'm humbled, honored and proud to be a part of middle school ministry.

Into Every Cookie a Little Love Must Fall

WHAT IS IN A COOKIE?

I don't mean literally. I'm sure we all know that cookies are made with flour and sugar and generally lots of butter. [SIDENOTE: My husband never fails to gasp when he sees the quantity of butter that goes in the bowl. "Why do you need THAT much butter?" My response is always the same..."Because it makes them taste so yummy...they weren't meant to be healthy."]

The key ingredient to any cookie - any variety - is love. If you aren't' making them with love, something will go wrong almost every single time. You will be hasty. You might miss an ingredient or add too much. You might overcook. You name it.

For the past several years, I have taken on the task of making cookies to give away to the family at Christmas time. Chocolate chip, peanut butter chip, peanut butter, sugar, jam bars (yes, they are still cookies), mint chip, chocolate peanut butter chip, gingerbread, peppermint sandwich, peanut butter blossoms, Russian teacakes and anything else that shouts my name when I go through. I think the total usually comes in at about 700+ cookies until I'm done. Some are easy to make and others, well, they take time and care...and love.

BUT...the favorite cookie that we made last year would be the whoopie pies my daughter sold. It was an idea that she had gotten to pay for her retreat with our church. We chuckled when she came up with the idea. My husband and I kept reminding her to keep the $155 trip on her Christmas list, as she'd need all the help she could get. So, we made some posts and asked around. Soon enough, people started ordering 6 here and a dozen there. The orders just kept pouring in for these $1.00 whoopie pies that were double the size of any I've seen for sale. She, at 13, made enough in two days to pay for her entire trip. I was honestly blown away. When we talked about it, she was so excited, but then immediately asked if she could keep taking orders and help pay for someone else to go. I asked if she was sure and she continued, saying that people need to go on those retreats and that not everyone has the money or can go. She was adamant that she wanted to help. Who was I to stop her?

(via chefmom.sheknows.com)

All in all, she made a total of $510 in whoopie pie sales. I was blown away at the provision, truly. She had a faithful heart and it paid off. She was very, very busy baking for several weeks. All in all, she was able to go on the retreat free and clear, AND was able to send two other students and pay for a portion of another student. So many people commented that they were better than the whoopie pies at the local farmer's market. I can't tell you how proud my momma heart was.

Love...it is the key ingredient. You know, our daughter taught us something this Christmas. IF YOU HAVE FAITH LIKE A CHILD, BIG THINGS CAN HAPPEN.

This post is brought to you by Lets Blog Off, a bi-weekly random topic posted.


To see other posts, see below:

Sometimes You Have to Say "No" to Say "Yes" to the Right Things

Isn't it interesting to take a new year and dream about the possibilities that it holds? Isn't it fun to imagine a better you (either emotionally or physically)?
As part of the #letsblogoff series, I have chosen to look at the things I'm looking forward to in 2012.


I will preface this blog by saying that I'm not one to usually make resolutions, or if I do, I don't put them out there. You see, I'm a great starter by trade, but a horrible finisher. I hate defeat and hate admitting it even more. But, this is a new year and changes must be made to assure that 2012 isn't the same as 2011 or 2010.

This year, I vow to make myself slow down long enough to appreciate it. I don't want to be sitting around the fire in September wondering what happened to May and June. Did I truly show love to others? Can I even remember those times? I am planning to pick and choose my activities. My priority will be my family. There may be things that I might have to say "no" to, but those decisions will be run through the filter of "Is this best for my family?". Yes, I might just have to retire my Super Woman (or Splintergirl) cape and admit that I can't do everything.

I'm looking forward to continuing to work on my marriage and work on really listening to my husband and learning how to use the differences in the ways we approach things and communicate to make us stronger, to make our bond unbreakable. I'm looking forward to the work it will take to put us there.

I'm looking forward to seeing what will come of my husband's lay off. I'm hopeful that he will find a position that better suits his needs for a company that truly cares about him and his abilities. So, anyone in need of a very experienced AutoCAD draftsman with building designer and LEED experience that is working on his Architecture degree? :)

I'm looking forward to continuing to work with the middle schoolers at my church, especially my 8th grade girls' group. I love them to pieces. They honestly teach me so much about life without even realizing it and I only hope that the feeling is mutual. I aspire to inspire them, accpeting them as they are and challenging them to strive for more.

I'm looking forward to my work with Lancaster County Timber Frames, Inc. and really getting some much needed PR for the company. I love my job and my dream has always been to get a frame featured in a magazine. I'm not sure why that seems to be such a dream for me, but it is an accomplishment that I've been striving for. I'm also working towards making my position much more fluid and structured, so as to be as efficient and timely as possible.

On a personal side...the "for me" part...I am looking forward to continuing to run and really getting on a good schedule for that. I've always felt guilty going for a run when something else needed done. This year, I want to strive for a better balance of that and realize that the run is important for me for health reasons, but also emotional ones. I want to run my 2nd half marathon in under 2 hrs. 15 min. this October. I want to write more. It is something that love to do, but again, I don't make time for the things that I love. So, I'd love to blog weekly or at least write poetry.

Ahhh...so I've put this all out there. "All in" as I tell my daughter. Now, it will be up to me to see if I can actually fulfill this list or at least put myself in the right place to have a good start on it. Now, you know MY heart. What are some of the things that you are looking forward to?

If you'd like to read the posts of the other contributors to #letsblogoff, you can visit www.letsblogoff.com or view the chart below:


Photo credit goes to: cameronsong.blogspot.com

God's Half Marathon

In some fashion, I feel compelled to attempt to put words to today's events, today's emotion. As many of you know, I make no excuses or apologies for being a Christ follower. I use this term, rather than Christian, because I feel it best describes my walk. I AM a Christ follower. I strive every day to follow what God wants. Some days I fail miserably, but He lets me try the next day...that is His infinite grace. Grace that was afforded me by a huge sacrifice in my name...in your name. So, I get up each day and make the choice to try my hardest.

In any event, three months ago I entertained the idea of signing up for a half marathon. Immediately, negative speak started running through my brain. This negative speak is something I personally specialize in. I kept telling myself that, with two bad knees and the fact that I still walk portions of a 5k, I had no business signing up for anything longer than that, not to mention something as impossible as 13.1 miles. I told myself I couldn't...and, what did I get back? An almost audible "Yes, you can." I don't actually hear from God often (not in audible sounds), but I am certain this was Him. I had never been asked by God to do something such as this, but I felt maybe this was my faith test. (Trust me, I felt foolish even explaining this to people...I couldn't for the life of me figure out why a race would be a faith test.) I had never given over everything I had in me before...maybe that's what God wanted from me. So, I signed up...signed up even though I doubted.

I figured that I'd better start training if I were ever going to come close to finishing such a distance, as I still assumed that I couldn't...what with two bad knees, a quitter attitude and just being afraid, I couldn't. I started the week of the heat wave in July. I hated every minute of that week. I doubted. I doubted God's provision. I doubted my ability. As the weeks rolled along, I rolled up on 6.5 and 8.5 and then 10.25, it became harder and harder to stay healthy. My ankles ached, my back hurt, I questioned why I was doing this. I remember one conversation that I had with Him: "God, I have no idea why you want me to do this, but I'm here. I'm running for you...please take care of me because I can't do this without you." I wanted to quit when it hurt, I did. But, God provided. I kept finding it more and more amazing that He was keeping my knees from aching to the point that I'd have to quit...started trusting, but still doubted.

This week was race week. I spent the week feeling a mix of emotions...fear, anxiety, doubt, belief, resolve...you name it. When I picked up my race number and shirt yesterday, I nearly balled on my way to the car. I was awash with emotion that I couldn't explain. Today, I got out of bed, fully expecting the normal pre-race jitters-the sick stomach, the whole nine. I was nervous, but nothing like normal. This was God's Half Marathon (I had decided that) and I wanted so badly to make Him proud, to trust Him with everything I had, to give Him everything in me.

So, I ran proud and I ran strong, praying in the hard parts early near mile 2, recentering at mile 7 and pausing to celebrate a bit, and thinking often of God. By mile 9, though, I had run (or tried to run) hill after hill. My joints ached, I was trying hard, feeling so utterly alone out there and not really knowing if I could do this. I wished hard for someone, somewhere on a street corner, but knew the family and friends hadn't planned to be right there. I started to give up on myself, I did. I guess then, I would have been giving up on God too. Then, a song came on the player...not just any song, but one that moves my heart EVERY time I hear it. It is a song that reminds me of the huge sacrifice I mentioned in the opening paragraph. It is "What Do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road. I picked up my pace as tears welled in my eyes. God had been there all along, just waiting for me to cry out...and He responded in that instant when no earthly being could. I guess the tears came because I had diminished for that instant the power of God and His provision. I hadn't quite given Him the credit He was due.

So I kept running...I kept pushing past aches that were quickly forming to come into the park to find my smiling husband, Tim standing in the 10.5 mile area. My heart again moved to see him saying..."Just a little more. I'm so proud of you." I didn't feel like I could keep going, but he pushed me and kept it up. He met me at mile 12.50 to run me in. He ran the whole way with me and just keep saying..."Just a little more. You CAN do this." I had, you see, begun to already doubt again as I had struggled with the wind and struggled to get to mile 11 and 12...struggled to realize that I was so close to the end, but had nothing left. God gave me Tim, again right where I needed him and willing to run me into the finish line.

When I got to the stadium, He gave me a good friend that I could see at the finish line who immediately came and hugged me and congratulated me. God gave me friends and family praying for me during the day. He came through. He provided for me, just as He always promised.

I came home to rest for a bit and got up just a bit ago, filled with emotion and tears. I felt compelled to write out these events. I hope they inspire you in some way to either hear from God if you know Him, or to check Him out if you are far from Him. He knows our hurts and fears and He is right there to help me, you, us through them. He is just waiting for us to ask.

I don't know how He plans to use this race. Maybe, He just wanted me to be faithful. Maybe, His name will be gloried in other ways....that isn't for me to say or figure out.

I will not apologize for being a Christ follower, but I will apologive for the length of the post :) Feel free to leave a comment. P.S. I'll add a picture as soon as I get it downloaded.

Times are Changing...So Should Your Expectations

So, what is privacy?

One would think that this is a pretty easy question to answer...until you start to, well, answer it. Webster's says that privacy is:

"{noun} The quality or state of being apart from company or observation."

Ok, that definition maybe worked pre-techie age, I guess. Privacy used to mean that you got to spend your time in the bathroom with the door closed and by yourself. [Parents, you know exactly what I mean.] Thus, you were apart and free from observation.

In the advent of technology, the internet and social media, privacy comes to mean an entirely different thing. There are now levels of privacy (low, medium, high, super mega high). There are also now levels of assumed privacy.

All in all, my answer to what is privacy must relate back to "It depends". I know you think this is a cop-out, but it truly does depend.

For me, privacy (or my expected level of privacy) depends upon what I am doing or where I'm at. If I'm at home studying, writing or reading, I expect there to be a level of privacy. This simply means that my family will have the courtesy to not interrupt me. If I'm on the phone, I want (note, I have kids so I never fully expect) privacy and to not be eavesdropped upon. If I'm online, I want my private information protected.

Now, back to the on the phone and on the internet....While I WANT privacy in both instances, my want and what I expect to happen are two different things. I expect that my kid will eavesdrop while I am talking on the phone. Therefore, I choose my topics and words carefully. [I believe someone once said something like "Out of the mouths of babes."...yeah, you'd be surprised what they hear and remember.] Further, I enter each internet visit, transaction, social media post in the same manner. If I don't want the world to know what I am thinking or doing or wearing, I refrain from posting it, because I realistically know that ANYONE can see it.

So, privacy depends on the situation. But, just because we expect to have privacy, it doesn't mean that said privacy will be granted.

What do you think?

[This post is part of the #letsblogoff series. The question for this week was "What is this thing called privacy?"]


If you would like to see how the other participants responded, please check out www.letsblogoff.com or the table below:

Thumbtacks = Pride and Passion

I've taken several months off from writing...something I love. I keep wanting to, I do, but something always seems to come along that is a higher priority. On Twitter, there is something called the #letsblogoff. I love reading the topics and the entries and have for months thought that I should once again partake. So, in the spirit of all things good, this week's topic (re: THUMBTACKS) is one that struck me instantly and I knew, knew I had to participate. [sidenote: odd that that the odd topic struck me, right?]



So, thumbtacks? Well, first, thumbtacks are highly important - they hold important things down (or up), for one. Examples would be, say, a card, a list, a notice, directions, etc. I guess things that you may not look upon often, but things that need to be easy to find. Sometimes, they mark important points or direct your attention, be they in person or via virtual.

I began searching for a picture to post here. You know, some stock photo from a Google search. In doing so, I happened to look up from my desk to see the maps hanging on our office wall.

You see, these thumbtacks (or better termed pins) are placed on the maps, one for every timber frame that Lancaster County Timber Frames, Inc. (LCTF, Inc.) has erected since its inception in 1997. There are hundreds and hundreds of them. At one time, we had to make the decision to have a Pennsylvania/New Jersey map blow up just for those pins (yes, I'm aware that PA now looks as though it has measles).

But, I digress. These pins, and every pin that gets added when a timber frame job ships out, are a source of pride for me, for the other owners, for the crew, and for the client/home they depict. They represent our work, our passion. There are pins in Colorado, New Mexico, South Carolina, Wisconsin, Massachusetts, North Carolina and on and on. I smile fondly when I look at them and see trends or just remember a particular job that the pin represents. I smile even broader to see perspective clients enter and watch their eye be drawn to the board and take it in. So, for LCTF, Inc. thumbtacks represent pride and passion...doubtful the makers of the item thought that was the track it was going to take, but you never know, right?

Funny...and originally my post was going to be about how thumbtacks are an item that will never go out of style, much like duct tape and super glue. But, I like this direction more. What do you think?

Feel free to browse the others! Or you can look them up on www.letsblog.off.com :) Enjoy!

Forgiveness and Inner Turmoil

As thoughts of forgiveness roll through my head for the past several days, I struggle to understand what that is exactly. I must say, I often feel a bit foolish that I don't know, but I suspect that forgiveness is different for each person. But, is that right? Is that what was intended when we were called to forgive?

God forgives and forgets...His model of forgiveness is a perfect one. He sacrificed so much so that he could forgive us, so that we could be cleansed.

I suppose the forget part is where I'm stuck. Something inside of us, I believe, truly does want to forgive. We all want to be accepted and feel accepted...to be loved and feel loved. So, we want to forgive someone that wronged us...we want to get around the hurt that their action caused in us. We want to put it behind us and obey God's calling to forgive. But, how does one forget? Is it human nature to remember it? Is it Satan whispering in our ear to cause turmoil? Is it the victim in us that feels it is easier to keep holding up that hurt than to do the work it takes to allow God to wash it clean?

Is there a limit to the number of times you should forgive a person for an action? I'm struggling with that in both the granting of forgiveness and the asking for it. If a person struggles with anger and needs to humble themselves each time they lose their cool (as they should to make amends), is there a limit to the number of times the "forgiver" needs to address their "I'm sorry"? Or, is the sheer fact that they need to ask forgiveness so many times a sign that the two people just shouldn't interact? Because, if true forgiveness is not granted, the wound will fester...it will grow and build and become such an ugly monster that it will be filled with anger, bitterness and resentment for both parties. One will feel like they are never good enough and the other will feel like they shouldn't have to be bothered. Either way, both parties lose. Bitterness and resentment can only breed a lose-lose situation.

So, it is easy to say the words "I forgive you", but are you willing to take the steps it takes to forget...really forget and to trust? That's probably the hardest of the steps to take.

Our hearts want so badly to guard against hurt...we all hate to be wounded, we hate to feel unloved or unaccpeted. So, we will either hand that over for redemption or we will carry it around with us to cause us further pain down the road. Often, I don't think the latter is a conscious choice...just one that seems to happen. It is sad that words sometimes can be so hurtful that we don't know quite how to process them...one or two words can cause instant anger, hurt, love, or joy, depending on how they are delivered and what the circumstance is....something to be aware of in the process, I guess.

I suppose it is never too late to assess a situation and give it over. Sometimes, these things just take time and lots of conscious efforts (however small) and baby steps...everyone's timeline is different, I suppose.

Who Are You Seeking Glory For?

So...the past few weeks for me have been ones of disarray and disfunction. I have felt uneasy about the feeling, but could not understand why I had those feelings. Nonetheless, these feelings were suffocating me. I was feeling emotional, easily angered, overwhelmed...you name it.

After several really empowering sermons and/or nudges, I have been left wondering if I'm doing life correctly. Am I using what I have been given to the fullest...and for the right reasons?

I discovered long ago that life is about a balancing act. It is about doing various things throughout your day to make life "work". So often, I think I (we) fill our days with things, but never take into consideration whether they are necessary in the essence of life working. I know for me, I tend to overcommit to too many things. I enjoy being involved with people, with creativity and with excitement. If I'm being honest (and I generally attempt to on this forum), my motives for being involved are often for the wrong reasons.

That is not to say that something beautiful and exciting will not come from the experience, but it has left me wondering if I truly glorified God in that situation. Was I yearning for acceptance and praise or was I yearning to glorify God? Many times...and sadly as it may be...I think I end up looking for the praise and acceptance.

So, does that mean that I never volunteer or get involved? No. It means that I, me...an individual trying to be more aware, think through my motives prior to committing and it means that I review those motives throughout and continue to make sure that I am doing it as a means to bring glory to the One, rather than myself. I don't and shouldn't need the glory...my glory will come some day, but I need not be concerned with that now.

I should note that it is clear that several of the things I'm involved in are certainly glorifying God and it excites (and humbles) me to be able to be used by Him in such a way. It simply means that care, as in any other situation, needs to be taken. Will I always succeed? Probably not, but awareness is key...and baby steps are important.

The picture above, I felt sums it up nicely. Prayer will help me (or you) with that balancing act. That glory for God comes through awareness of who He is and what He yearns for...and to find that, you need to be talking/listening to Him.
[Picture "borrowed" from cascadebiblechurch.com]

I'm Creative, You're Creative, Wouldn't You Like To Be Creative Too?

The question of the day is: What is creativity?

When first thinking about my response, I couldn't help but think that this is a bit of a loaded question. What creativity is to me is obviously different from the person next to me or even miles away. I mean, really, to me creativity means being orginial, imaginative...blah, blah, blah. So, before I get into my thoughts of creativity, I thought I'd see what the good 'ole folks at dictionary.com had to say:

cre·a·tiv·i·ty   ~noun
1. the state or quality of being creative. [Wow, that sure was helpful.].
2.the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination. [Ahhh...my idea of original is here!]
3. the process by which one utilizes creative ability. [Again, helpful, no?]

Ok, now that I've taken you to the dictionary definition, let's see how that applies in a practical light:

Creativity can be using one's imagination to create something new, forming words, writing, dancing, drawing, painting you name it. It could be figuring out how to stop a dripping window by taping a cup to it until conditions are right to fix the window [Yes, this is a personal experience of majestic creativity right there.]

No matter what the situation is and no matter whether you end up with the same outcome as someone else, being creative is about using the resources you have in your reach or in your repertoire of skills to make a situation work or make it better. Ahh...maybe "resourceful" is a better definition...or "imaginative resourcefulness". I think we may be getting somewhere!

So, to apply this to life in the construction or design industry: Creative is making something interesting, using the resources available to you; yes, that does include materials available AND money in the budget available. Sometimes, that means designing a project and value engineering it to fit the budget and still be interesting. Again, being resourceful.

It is my belief that creativity cannot be taught...you either have it or don't. BUT, creativity obviously means different things to different people. You can be creative with your budget, your menu, your outfit, your problem solving...whatever. I strongly believe that I am creative and I pride myself on that notion. BUT, who am I (or you) to judge wheteher someone else is creative?

What do you think?




I hope you enjoyed my brief look at what creativity means to me...this is another issue of the #letsblogoff posts that I have thoroughly enjoyed over the last several months. P.S. I got a very curious message from my husband from the last post. It read "So, I just read your obituary." My only response was...."ahhh...about that."

To check out the other participants, check the growing list below:

Am I Really That Person?

Amy Good (aka Splintergirl) passed due to naturally accidental causes while rescuing 3 kittens from a collapsing steel structure building when her cape failed. Had the building been timber framed the structure would have held up longer.

Oh wait…that would be the comic book version.

Before you freak out, this post is going somewhere. It is a submission to the bi-weekly Lets Blog Off topics. I found it to be a great inward look at who I am versus who I'd like to be.


Amy Good, 85, of Mount Joy, PA passed in her sleep due to natural causes. She is survived by her loving husband, Timothy, a son and daughter-in-law Clayton and Nicole, a daughter and son-in-law Courtney and Eric, 8 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.

Amy was a long time member of LCBC (Lives Changed By Christ) in Manheim, PA where she continued to serve with middle school students. Amy was the retired CEO of Lancaster County Timber Frames of York, PA. She was a good friend, listener, and lived life with a heart full of passion and will be remembered for the little things – a hug here, cookies there, a listening ear or helpful act there. Those who knew Amy would know that she would not want them to dwell on sadness, but celebrate.

In lieu of flowers, it is asked that donations be made to either March of Dimes or American Cancer Society.

My word….I aspire to be all those things. This is a good reminder to be mindful of my actions...and, hey, I have 50 years to perfect it, right?

Other submissions can be found here:

Gobble, Gobble....zzzzzzz

So, what does Thanksgiving mean to me? Hmmmm....



I find it interesting that the meaning of the day has changed for me over the years. It used to merely mean a couple luscious days off school, a little shopping (nothing 3 a.m. crazy) with my mom, tons and tons of mashed potatoes (my favorite) and chilling to play games with my beloved Grandmother and family.

Now, the day is generally spent with me getting up early in the morning because I was too lazy to make my portion of the meal, which is usually some new dessert I've been dying to try out. I live 5 hours away from my parents...sadly, I've since lost my Grandmother and don't make the trek home for the holiday meal like I used to. Instead, we go to my in laws for dinner with them and my husband's brother's family. It is cozy. I don't have to make a turkey, which I cherish. [someday I'll have to tell you about the year I made a turkey on the grill because my stove blew up...best turkey I've ever eaten.] The day is spent chatting around the table, playing games, looking at circulars, and trying to relax.

While I no longer get to go Black Friday shopping, that suits me fine. I hate crowds of people and hate the commercialism that Christmas tends to bring. It seems that this nation has forgotten to cherish the holiday that causes deep reflection. This is evidenced by the Christmas ads that you now see even before Halloween. It is sad and breaks my heart.

In my home, I have a strick rule that is enforced. NO CHRISTMAS MUSIC UNTIL THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING! Yes, I am very strict about this, because I never want my daughter to forget to be thankful. It is already sad enough that we blow through most of the year without remembering to cherish the simplicity of our lives, the little blessings and the big ones, and just the dog-gone time with family and/or friends.

My goal at some point is to go for and early Thanksgiving lunch with family and then go as a family to serve meals at the local shelter. For me, I believe that would complete my day more than any parade could.

Laugh at the Little Things

So, I've been challenged to answer the question of "What Makes Me Laugh". Hmmmm...it has, I must say, created quite the thought process for me, because I enjoy laughing and it made me realize just how often I do truly laugh.

[Sidenote: I am highly medicated on cold meds...hope this all makes sense :)]

Ok, in case I haven't told you before (although I'm pretty sure I have), I'm a dork, so I tend to laugh at stupid things. For instance, I find the commercial for Scared Shrekless hysterical...every time the gingerbread man poops jelly beans because he is afraid, I bust up laughing. Honestly, I could be in the middle of a conversation and laugh about it. I truly tried hard to find an image on the internet, but failed. Commercials that show people running into things, such as signs or doors, also spur on loud belly laughing from the pit of my stomach. Depending on the commercial, it will envoke tears with that laughter. I know...it's just a commercial, right? But...why not enjoy life?

Besides items seen on TV, I tend to laugh at silly things. I find squirrels, yes, squirrels to be hysterical creatures and will often pass many a minute watching them outside the window. (I'm sure they'd be less funny if they were inside my house.) But, seriously, tell me they are not funny to watch with their tail twitching back and forth? My dog creates much laughter in that she is so gosh darned carefree about life. She chases that ball like it is the last available ball on the Earth. My dog also uses the most interesting ways to seek my attenion and never fails to bring a smile and chuckle as a response from me (note above picture). After giving this aspect some thought, I realized that sometimes the most innocent of things creates laughter within me. I think it is mainly due to the fact that they are true and real in their simplest of forms.

Times with friends usually and almost always inspires laughter at some pathetic and silly act. Generally, it wasn't, but done by accident....be it a mislad word or phrase or action that just was out of the blue.

Sure, jokes are funny, but I always feel like I need a fake laugh for them. True laughter comes from the things that arent' planned...the things that just happen. Sometimes those are trips or falls (as long as the person isn't hurt...well, maybe even if they are-hardest thing ever to hold in a laugh of that nature) or just a snapshot of life as we know it. Hmmm...maybe this question is harder to answer than I first thought.

What do you think?

The blog post was inspired by the #letsblogoff folks. All of the other entries can be found at www.letsblogoff.com. Have a read to see what makes others laugh.

Connected....but Not Really Community?-TAKE 2

Ok, so I jumped the gun a little last week and posted my #letsblogoff topic too soon. Yes, I did wonder why no one else had a stream going of posts, but somehow convinced myself that I was just in stealth mode and got there first. Dreamland, right?



P.S. Since my post, I've decided that being an introvert excludes me from many things and that if I can be outgoing once I'm in a group of people I know, I can be outgoing in a group of people I've never met. The challenge is set and I refuse to be one of the statistic that feels they need an internet connection all the time to keep their family together and/or friends together.

Enjoy the post (below)!

Connected....but Not Really Community?

Caption: Found this picture online and couldn't resist.

Today is Tuesday....so, today is a #letsblogoff day! Basically, several Twitter users have decided that it would be fun to bounce a random topic around via their social media worlds. I have found this to be a very interesting experience, not to mention a great way to get me writing again. Here's my official badge for the day (to show my inclusion). You can follow the other blogs by visiting www.letsblogoff.com SIDENOTE: I have not edited this post, as I feel it brings out the "realness" of it all that way...sorry if I've rambled.



The question at hand today? Do social sites like Facebook connect the world or isolate people?

Hmmm...there is a part of me that says Facebook is definitely connecting the world. Because, well, sure - it is! Facebook and other social media sites are allowing people that don't normally get to see others a way to communicate, to chat, to share things about themselves. For me, I get to see a few of my family members about every 2 to 3 years in person (yes, sad, I know, but life gets busy). Via Facebook, I have been able to view pictures of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. My Grandma even got to see pictures of my kids and family while visiting my aunts house. I've been able to chat and connect with a few people that I've lost touch with. I've been able to stay in touch with the group of middle school girls that I lead at church. Awesome, right? Yes. It is awesome to be able to have that sort of technology.

Take Twitter, for example. I consider Twitter a notch up from Facebook as far as social media goes. This is the most real time thing I've ever seen. I've been able to connect with people I would have never had the opportunity to chat with, share information with, and joke with. It is really a cool thing (even though my husband ribs me constantly with the sophmoric nature of it all...he doesn't get it).

Now.....

Here's where it is time to roll up my sleeves and bring out my inner insecurities to explain why Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites are not the end all and can honestly end up isolating someone:

I tend to appear to be a very outgoing person...I love to chat and hang out with people (thus why the real time nature of Twitter is so fun). Once I meet someone, I'm usually fine hanging out with them and building great community with them. I love to ask how people are and check in on them. BUT...(yes, you had to know there was going to be a but)...

I am a horrible introvert at the same time. I hate eating at restaurants alone. I almost always refuse to walk into somewhere by myself unless I know there are people I know there. I prefer to stay at home and watch a movie, rather than go out to eat where there are crowds of people. Are you getting the idea here or should I go on?

I can't explain why I'm this way, but I do realize that social media allows me to stay this way. For the most part, I do not friend someone on Facebook unless I've met them...why would I really want to? And yes, I have had the opportunity to meet a few of the Twitter folk that I follow...usually by accident. Each time I get a chance to meet one of my fellow Tweeters, I always feel a bit awkward. I have absolutely no idea why...ok, maybe I do. Could it be that it is easier to hide behind an avatar? Could it be that my high school insecurities come raging to the surface? Ummm...yeah. I think that's it in a huge nutshell. Really...I write much better than I formulate words. When I talk, I tend to trip over my tongue and have them looking quite confused. What if they think I'm an idiot? What if they stop following me after they meet me because they really see how much of a dork I am? Can I handle that? Each time I've actually gotten the courage to walk up to someone and say something to the effect of "Hey! Are you @____? I'm Splintergirl!" I've been proud of myself and happy that I did. But intially, I do tend to hide behind the avatar - not really knowing how to make the leap between virtual and actual.

So, I find timing hysterical sometimes. I actually had the opportunity to meet several local Twitter folk last Saturday evening. My husband and I were at a local resaturant. When we walked in, I recognized immediately @charleski. I said nothing, knowing that she'd never recognize the ponytailed, hatted avatar based upon the dressed up me. As we were waiting, @adamhann, @primaljeff, and another person from our church walked and sat down. Again, I squirmed. They all knew each other and work together at our church. They were having a spirited conversation. And...I said nothing. How do you stumble in on that conversation without feeling odd? Are you seeing a pattern here? To further add conviction, @mspiker and his wife @OTgremlin walked in. I have actually MET @OTgremlin and serve on a tech team with her. I actually did wave at her...whew, at least I tried, right? Then @mspiker came up with @JenniferSayer to say hi to the other folks sitting next to us...yes, right next to us. I again (yup you guessed it) said nothing. Can anyone say LOSER?

What was I thinking? I wouldn't be surprised if they all stopped following me on Twitter to be honest. Because I've essentially isolated myself, right? If they are good enough to chat with on Twitter, why did I find myself unable to introduce myself? Ahh...yes, see above fears already noted. To all of the above Lancaster people listed: my sincerest apolgoies and hope that you will offer grace. I promise to introduce myself next time with "Hi. My name is Amy Good."

So, do social media outlets connect the world? Of course they do. They make follow up with people easy and they allow for you to brighten someone's day with a kind word or two at just the right moment. Are they an end all? NO! Without face to face interaction, they are still just virtual and not real...not really. By that I mean, one's life cannot solely consist of friends in the viral world. You cannot hide behind a computer for all of your life...that would be isolation. You, as with everything in life, must have a decent balance. Some social media and some real world. Some virtual hugs and some real world hugs. Personally, I thrive on the real world ones.

So what do you think?

Testing or Tempting

Ever have those days or times where you have a thousand different things going through your head? Distracting thoughts. I find them extremely frustrating. Generally, these distracted feelings come when I have the longest to do list…aka multi-tasking will cause this. In a perfect world, we’d be cape wearing souls every day and be able to zip through our lists. In the real world, it just doesn’t always work out. And, just let one snag hit while your attempting the massive feat of getting everything done. I liken it to a meltdown of sorts (or at least in most of my cases).

So, why does it happen?...Why? I doubt that it is for me to say. But, I do have some assumptions.

Am I being tested? Hmmm….possibly. More likely, though, I’m being tempted, tempted to speak words that I’ve chosen not to utter, tempted to kick the air in disgust, tempted to allow myself to anger easily, tempted to basically allow my inner 2 year old to come out and behave as if the world has taken my favorite toy away. I must sheepishly admit that it certainly isn’t the first time this temptation to act out and stamp my foot has come up. Generally, I am able to push it aside or acknowledge it and move on. But, today….today, it took several hours to right my thoughts. It really is a shame because in those several hours I have to wonder how many people’s lives I touched in some way or another. Grace was certainly not on my mind or in my actions (including the candy machine that I forcefully pushed back and forth to give up my candy bar that I had paid for but got stuck coming out).
Satan causes temptation. He causes us to anger easily and he revels in the fact that we can park there in our own cloud of stupidity. Anyone thinking that God would cause that sort of thing clearly has to be mistaken (or maybe just needs to take another look, I guess). God made us for relationship. He wants us to cultivate them, as well as His kingdom. I can’t imagine that He would be looking at my inner 2 year old and smiling broadly. But, He does grant me the grace to pick me up when I finally realize how ridiculous I’m behaving (I believe that realization clicked after I finished devouring said candy bar mentioned earlier). He, in fact, picks me up every time I decide to follow the path of temptation, whether it be a huge detour or just a small one.

I will never pretend to understand all of the inner workings of His creation and how it all works together, but I am always, always aware that I am truly blessed to be a part of that and forever thankful for the unending grace that is given to me. And, I pray that some day I will be able to completely ward off the temptation that wells up inside me. But, that is not for me to fix myself and can only change by turning it over to Him. I finally understand the email quote that I received several years ago. I wish I could find it. It was something to the effect of: “Today, God, I give you all of my worry, all of my pain….I give it all to you.” I know there was more to it…just can’t think of it.

I remember reading it and scoffing at it several years ago, thinking “How? How am I supposed to just give it up?” It makes sense. It is only through Him that the worry and pain and whatever else can go away. It is only through faith that we can be restored. Hmmm…funny that I struggled so with that meaning. I mean, it made me feel warm and fuzzy and moved me emotionally, but I just couldn’t understand why. I think now I do.

P.S. If you know of the refrigerator notice and can find it for me, please send it my way. I know it wasn’t a specific scripture, but an email type thing.

Are College Graduates Ready For The Real World?

Ok, so over the past month or so, several of some great Twitter folks have been doing what they affectionately call a "Blog Off". I've been intrigued to join the mix for several weeks and have finally committed (see my official-looking badge below?)



*SIDENOTE: My post is based upon personal experience, observations (yes, opinion) and business experience.

Ok, so on to the topic of "Are College Graduates Ready for the Real World?". My response, sadly, is "It depends". Why you ask?

Well, it depends on how serious the student took their training. Did they view college merely as a party stage of life? Did mom and dad pay for it all with the student nary a care in the world? Did the student dig in and really study, really take this serious? Did the student research job availability research for after his/her graduation? Did said student seek out employment or internships? Wait...I'm asking questions and am supposed to be answering them.

First, let me be real honest for a moment. I graduated just about top in my class. I was excited to go to college and knew precisely what I wanted to do with my life. (I had wanted to be a lawyer since I was about 10.) I had researched my field and discovered that an Accounting degree was the best degree to enter law school with (good thing I was good at math and business). So, I busted butt in high school, even with the newborn that I had had just before senior year (life does have those curve balls, right?) and had a great support system and some scholarships. After the first year of college, reality struck that I couldn't pay for college and would need to get a full time job and put college on hold. So, no, I did not graduate from college, but I believe my real world experiences and lessons are more than capable of answering these questions (I believe).

Mostly, college grads are not truly ready for the real world. What classroom can prepare you for the various different positions out there? How could a college professor possibly know all of these details in order to teach them? The main reason for college to get the ball rolling. That is why many colleges require internships and the like. The hope there is that you'll intern with a company that may ask you to remain on staff, thus you've invested in your future employment and they have invested in a future employee. Make sense? We've actually hired an intern or two at my company (Lancaster County Timber Frames, Inc.). We've found that while the drafting courses helped to prepare the intern, we had to retrain them. This retraining was not based on the fact that they AutoCad/drafting courses they took were sub-par, but merely because we are highly customized with how we utilize the program (see previous mention about varied skills in various companies). But, had that employee (now here for almost 6 yrs) not went out on a limb to start the course and then ask for the internship, he may have either decided to abandon his degree or have went in a different direction.

One of the main points that I think is missed, though is that the question has been directed towards 20 something people. What about those people that choose to return to college in their 30's or 40's that have been working in the profession for many years and are finally returning to college to make it "official"? Are they prepared for the real world? Probably. I suppose there are some that still are fully prepared, but I think those students that take the course of reality first and then studies may just be more prepared and be able to put that college education to work for them faster - not to mention possibly appreciate it more. I think it really boils down to a maturity level that has been attained (and the fact that they've had to finance said education on their own and probably juggle it with full/part time work).

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the read for my first attempt at the #letsblogoff. I hope I won't be outlawed from future posts due to my ramblings *smiles*. And, I hope to be one of those "matured graduates" at some point in the future. But, for now, I'll enjoy my life lessons college...or is it, graduate of the school of hard knocks? I wouldn't exchange my kiddos for the world...everything I've learned from my school of hard knocks has helped me in my professional world.

Here are the other participants:
Sean Lintow @SLSConstruction
Paul Anater @paul_anater
Bob Borson @bobborson
Nick Lovelady @cupboards
Veronica Miller @modenus
Becky Shankle @ecomod
Tamara Dalton @tamarajdalton
Tim Elmore @timelmore
Rufus Dogg @dogwalkblog
Bonnie Harris @waxgirl333
Richard Holschuh @concretedetail
Tim Bogan @TimBogan
Hollie Holcombe @GreenRascal
Cindy FrewenWuellner @Urbanverse
Steve Mouzon @stevemouzon

Banana Blueberry Swirl Ice Cream

DISCLAIMERS:
*recipe works for 1 1/2 quart Cuisinart machine
*I'm still working on getting the recipe creamier, but this was still pretty darn good.

BANANA BLUBERRY SWIRL ICE CREAM

Ingredients:
1 1/2 bananas, pureed
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup milk (1 use 1%)
1 tsp. vanilla
3/4 cup sugar
1 pint blueberries, pureed (1/2 pint if spouse gets hungry before ice cream making adventure day)

*Mix heavy whipping cream and sugar in medium bowl until sugar is dissolved (hand mixer for 1-2 minutes)
*Add bananas, milk, and vanilla
*Turn on machine and pour mixture in...total time is about 25-30 minutes but you'll want to check it periodically
*As mixture thickens, add 1/2 of pureed blueberries
*When ice cream is done, pour into bowl
*Take spatula and hole down in, pour some blueberry mixture and turn spatula once
*Repeat spatula step 3 more times (total of 4)until blueberry mixture is gone or the ice cream is to consistency you desire.
*Grab a bowl, a spoon, and some chocolate syrup and ENJOY!

Right Path or Just Going Through the Motions?

Did you ever think you were on the right track, finally going the direction you should be going only to watch as the road seemingly turned to dust? The path you thought was so true and right all of a sudden seemed bumpy and unmanageable.

Several things have made this pretty crisp to me lately. I have to step back and ask if the path I am taking is my path, my choices. Have I consulted God to see if this was the proper path? Did I even consider His plans? Did I make undue assumptions? (Because, I'm great at assuming things.)

Proverbs 16 is filled with many reminders. Verse 1 tells us that we can make our own plans, but God will always have the right answers. Verse 9 tells us that we make our own plans, but the Lord will determine our steps. Am I following the path that I believe is right, but that only ends in death? God has a way of pulling us back sometimes when we have reached the brink of disaster. Verse 3 reminds me that if I just commit my actions to the Lord my plans will succeed. I thought I was doing that. But, have I really? I have to beg the question of whether I have just gone through the motions.

This morning, I received a devotion that suggested that reading your Bible should not just be on your checklist of things to do that day. The writer suggested that we stop reading our Bible...not in a literal sense, but to stop just reading it to check off another "I did all my Christian activities". She encourages instead that we read as if we are talking to God, pick out a verse that speaks to us and read it over and over, and finally find a way to act upon it. It follows the "READ, CHEW, DO" that we are learning in 56 at LCBC. What verse leaps off the page? How can I apply it to my life? But the thing I had missed was not grabbing my Bible and sitting down at the table to run through the motions and underline a few words. What I've failed to do is about taking a few moments BEFORE reading to just pray from my gut that God will speak to me, admitting that I don't understand and that I feel my path straying.

In the end, it is about loving myself. If I don't truly love myself, I can't expect others to either. It is about forgiving myself for the wrongs that have committed...God has, why can't I? It is about baby steps toward the right direction and visibly noting those little improvements. And, most of all it is about knowing there will occassionaly be lows, but celebrating the highs and constantly striving to connect on a deeper level.

My action item (and maybe yours): Time to stop zombie walking and going through the motions and inject some "caffeine" into your relationships and become active in them, including your relationship with Christ.

And the Loser is Stubborn

Are you a stubborn person? I am. I’m not proud to admit it, but the reality is that I am that person. The one who likes to win the game, the race, the fight, the whatever. Somehow it feels good to win, right? For that instant, you are on top of your game – winner of your world.

But, at what cost did you win? Did you say hurtful things to win? Did you cheat? Did you lie? Did you purposefully behave in a less than likeable way to avoid admitting that winning is not everything? And now that you realize it, can you take back those actions, words, or lack of action?

I suspect we are all guilty of all of the above at some point or another.
For me, it is not about cheating or lying. For me, it is often about saying or doing hurtful things that seem to make me feel better at the time. Or, avoiding bringing a conflict to an end because I choose not to be the first to say “I’m sorry”. Even as I type this I feel childish. But, the reality is that it is SO easy for me to do this as a way to somehow validate my feelings.

I have to wonder in the moments of clarity where God was in my thought process. How did I somehow make ME bigger than Him and His love? How did I forget that love conquers all and selfish, childish behavior reaps more selfish, childish behavior that eventually leads to lonliness. As you know, sinful nature costs us. We all pay for our sins. In prolonging any dispute, I’m sinning. The longer I prolong it, the more costly to me and those around me. Why? Because I’m prolonging the love that I could be showing. I’m missing moments that are so precious and memories that could be formed….all because I choose to be stubborn. Also, life could be over tomorrow. Would they know how much I cared or just know that I was frustrated?
In the quiet of my drives to work, I realize that I am blessed beyond anything I could have imagined. I am truly thankful for all that I have and appreciate it. But, when my car arrives in the driveway, life seems to smack me in the face and somehow that appreciation floats from my consciousness. I’m working on creative ways to put the appreciation at the forefront and give my selfishness, childishness, and stubbornness a backseat for awhile-they’ve ruled long enough.

Some thoughts for how one would do such a thing? I’m not sure what works for you. My thought would be to remind myself prior to walking in the door that I love my life and I am blessed. A mantra was given to me recently “God is WITH you and God is FOR you.” Maybe the same could be said about those family members. “I am WITH you and I am FOR you.” Maybe it is more about actually telling them? I’m thinking a nicely written letter, explaining the reasons for my appreciation and eventually a verbalization of those sentiments. Baby steps.

Are We Different?

So, I am sitting here today trying to figure out where time has gone. There is a song called "Don't Blink". Well, it seems that is what I have done in some way. Time seems to be flying by at such rapid rates. Every year seems shorter and shorter in some way. And, through it all I am left with the question of "What did I DO this year? Did I really have an impact? Did my life make a difference?"

Some days, I feel on top of the world and on top of my games and can truly say...YUP! I had an impact. I suppose also that it depends upon how big your impact must be before you think it makes a difference. Does that make sense?

Often what we don't realize is that even a smile to a passerby may have a huge impact on that person's life. A simple "Hello" and you've possibly made their day. Sometimes, God has placed people in our lives to lend encouragement (sometimes without even knowing it). Man! We do have an awesome God. Sometimes, it is the things around us that He has given us.

For me, it is the huge Maple tree that I pass on my way home...majestic and colorful. Although it is not my property, it is like God placed that tree there just for me. It brightens my day and cheers me up. Or, the squirrels that play in the yards I drive past. I can honestly say that I think the squirrel is one of the best animals He created. It is hard not to chuckle (or even smile) when one looks at a squirrel with their tail flitting or when they run through the grass.

BUT, I'm left with the pondering thought....why don't I notice this stuff every day? Why don't I appreciate His creations all the time? Have we become a society that is so busy that we take the creations of our Lord for granted. Have we become so distracted from what REALLY matters? I think to some degree we have.

Today, I urge you to go out and smile to at least 3 people you don't even know...take 20 minutes to just observe nature and His creations and then spend just a few minutes saying "Lord, thank you for everything. I would be nothing if it weren't for you."