Wholeheartedly?

Some thoughts as I review my last race and the past several months....

As I sit here with hopes and dreams in my heart , I realize that I’m allowing too many thoughts to possess my mind these days.  I don’t know that any of them are necessarily bad things, but each one takes away from another.  This goes on (if left unchecked) until you are left with all these great things -none of which get done very well, because you just can’t focus on one thing.

This summer, I trained for my 5th marathon with hopes to reach what has been an elusive goal of mine as far as finish time.  Training was one of those things mentioned above in the slew of great things and ideas.  Honestly, I missed more mid-week runs than I care to admit and failed to train for the speeds that I had in mind.  I did my long runs, but it was a constant juggling act to include them while still having fun and enjoying the process.  At some point, I tried to forget about a time or pace and just get it done.  

Hmmm…”just get it done”.  Is there quality in that when we make that statement about anything?  Shouldn’t we be striving for the best?  What is the best?  And, by whose standards really?

I have been reflecting over the past several days on life - personal, work and running/training.  I have been noticing in each of these areas that I am not committing 100% of myself to any of them.  I’m constantly cramming something else in until I become so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start…and, nothing really gets done well.  It is true of my work.  It is true of my relationships.  It is true of my housework and renovation projects.   And, it was true of my training.  

Yes, I went in injured when I probably should have taken a step back.  I allowed the excitement of a new exciting destination to lead me into registering.  To be transparent, I had the first twinges of this injury last year when I finished my marathon and really couldn't fathom that it wouldn't be gone by this fall.  I had high hopes in my head of the training and steps I would take.  Basically, I donned my “I am Superwoman and can do anything” cape.  As I trained, the pain wasn't unbearable so I continued to make half hearted attempts to train but did not address the injury head on, somehow thinking the injury would just morph itself away and I’d have some semblance of glory. 

That thought is really very convicting as I think about it.  Glory?  Is that why I do this?

Glory really isn’t mine to proclaim whenever I have a win at anything in my life.  It was my Jesus that stands beside me and allows them to happen.  Don't get me wrong, I never stopped believing in God or trusting in him for the big stuff.  BUT, I had somehow made life so busy that I didn’t hear his whispers.  I didn’t hear him gently telling me to back off.  And, I wasn't really seeking him heavily either.

Towards the end of the training cycle, it became evident that the injury was reminding me that it was here to stay (along with the additional injures that decided to join the party), which left me knowing that I was more distant than I had thought.  I began to make the race about God.  I bought a shirt for the race that reminded me of that and began to focus on music that spoke to my heart and connected me more to Him.  Did I do this to somehow appease God so I could meet my goal?  No...I did it because I recognized that it didn't matter any more.  The time was nothing.  And, as usual it was all about faith and trust.  

(me, my BRF Liz, and her hubby Robert)

During the race, I began feeling pain that was nearly unbearable.  I heard him whisper at that point..."Back off."  I did not heed the whisper, as I didn't really want to admit what I felt was defeat so early in the race.  I finally relinquished at mile 13, totally feeling defeated and unsure of how this was going to play out.  I considered quitting and just calling it a day, sensing that I was being repaid for my stupidity.  But, I could feel myself being pushed to continue in whatever capacity I could - that equated to a lot of walking and many teary phone calls to attempt to compose myself.  Long story short, I was all alone with my thoughts for many miles.  The feeling of wanting to quit came up many times.  And, in many ways I kept getting the message to push forward in whatever way and however slowly I could.  Once I got over my pity party of one, I started considering my shirt and my ministry and somehow managed to run/walk to the end of what was the most rough, painful and humbling race that I have ever had the blessing to compete in.

(painful and teary finish)

Am I sorry I ran the race?  No.  Do I wish I had treated it differently from the beginning?  Yes.  But, I still firmly believe that there is ministry in running.  I believe (or want to believe) that my “Through Christ” shirt may have helped some others struggling.  If I could be just a glimmer of Jesus to someone out there on the course, it was all worth it.  

Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."

This race and its humbling reminder does have me reassessing my life in all areas right now.  I don't want to live my faith life lukewarm or by just getting it done.  I want to live with purpose - wholeheartedly. [Funny how God works.  This was the lesson at my church about 3 weeks ago.]  I cannot do that on my own and will likely continue to struggle and need reminded of this.  I would far rather be overwhelmed by Jesus than overwhelmed with all the things I add into my life that overshadow him. 

Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see."

I Can't Write That!

[SIDENOTE:  I'm not sure where this post is going, but it has been on my heart.  To keep it real, I don't plan to edit it like I usually would because I've found that there are often reasons for things like this.]

The purpose of this blog, for me, has been about transparency - about being real and finding a way to get things out, while feeding my need to write.  When I sat down to write, I felt like I had something on my heart, but no real topic in mind.  My first words on the page were:

"An interesting thing happens when we stop for two minutes to digest the world around us, when we take a moment to unplug, and when we review our motives.  It is often in that moment that we find...." (Yes, it was blank after that as I paused, feeling that what would come next would be fake...or, worse yet, something I wasn't ready to admit or share with others.)

Gasp.  I stopped writing.  My hand shook a little.  Why were those the words that fell on the page?  I jotted a note below it before quickly closing the book to close the thoughts that were falling out of my heart.  The note read:  "I can't write this!" *insert hard underline* "I feel so lost sometimes." The words left a shiver as I thought of the range of feelings that I had been feeling these past few weeks.  Cue slamming shut of my little book I write my blog posts in.

For the next couple minutes, my mind raced.  Where was my heart going with all of that?  As is usually the case, I felt compelled to open it again, which is how this post started.  Clearly, something -some feeling- is inside that needs to come out.

I've been struggling as of late, searching for guidance on how to stay strong in my commitments and my convictions.  I have been battling with feeling ranges of overwhelmed at times to content at others, angry on one side to pleased on the other, lost in on hand and filled up in the other.  To be honest, it freaks me out more than a little.  It causes me to question my usefulness and my abilities.  I mean, I'm supposed to be more put together than this, right?

I generally end up pressing on because I feel this nudge that there is something more - some deeper meaning to all these random crazy thoughts.  I guess I try hard because I feel like that's the only noble course to take and I want to be known as a noble body, willing to be used.  Some days, it does take more convincing than others. 

Today, I came upon Proverbs 3:5-6.  I've seen/heard/read it several times, but today it caused me to think on the ebb and flow of these feelings I've had as of late.

Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Interesting how that works - how inspiration comes at just the right time to cause us pause and to cause us to think.  While I often feel lost in my thoughts or in life itself, I am reminded that my path is laid out for me.  All I need to do is continue to walk forward with my eyes and heart directed upward....oh, and be sure to be looking out for the people that God places in my life to keep me on his path and inspire me to move forward to contentment, fulfillment and pleasure rather than being overwhelmed, lost or angry.  I guess being honest about how we are feeling is part of that process.

Can you relate?

Keep Getting Back Up

Side note:  Sorry about the length of this post.  I hope you stay with me.  This is not a boastful post to say that I have it all together.  On the contrary, it is meant to show you that I struggle and give you a peak into the provision that is granted when we choose to persevere in the midst of the storm.

_________________________________________

 

Things in life take time.  In this day of instant gratification, it is difficult to remember this at times.  It is difficult to see something we want and look at all of the steps involved to get there and not be overwhelmed, causing us to either quit or look for a shortcut.  But, it is in these moments (often blindly) that we must persist down a path of right steps. 

Example:  You don’t sign up for a marathon the day before you consider running it.

Back in August or September last year, I was feeling pulled to run a marathon.  I know, crazy!?!?!  My quiet voice (well, it often shouts) said that I couldn’t do it –that it was too far.  After running a half marathon in October, the nudging became greater and greater.  I found that, while I was afraid, this thought occupied my mind endlessly.  In November, I signed up and mailed in the registration, feeling that this was something that God was asking me to do – a part of my faith journey and learning to trust God fully. 

(Cue nervous, throw up feeling and email to my hubby saying “I’m not sure I CAN do this.”)

I immediately started looking at the training plan (http://www.jeffgalloway.com/training/marathon.html ) and anxiety welled up inside me.  How was this slow, achy and gimpy body going to do this?  I had people doubt as well, asking “How do you know you can even do this?  Have you ever even walked 26 miles?”  Truth?  In that instant, I didn’t think I could.  I took those words to heart and they created doubt and fear.  Heck, there were many days I told God I didn’t even want to.  I remember asking God, “What could this possibly do for your kingdom?...So, I raise money for water, but that’s so few people.  Can’t you get someone else?...This looks impossible.”  Possibly the lamest excuse I tried to use was that I simply didn’t have the time.

God didn’t lose his patience with me (I certainly would have if I were him).  Instead, I kept feeling him ask, “Do you trust me?  I can use you.  I’ve chosen you, not someone else right now.”  I felt like this was my Jonah moment.  God had Jonah swallowed by a whale.  *gasp*  Ok Lord, I thought.  I’ll train, but you better make me strong.  (Wow, arrogant much?)

As I posted the fundraising page and money came in, I started logging miles and the weeks started flying by.  9 miles, 10.5, 11.5, 12, 14…Seriously, I ran more than a half marathon…for fun?  All the while, there was that constant stress about winter temperatures, doubts, aches and exhaustion from pushing my body harder and harder.  But, beneath that surface stuff there became a desire to see what God was up to.  16 miles, 17, 20.  I started to feel good about the race and about blowing away a finish time that I had set as a goal.  Sure, I was still complaining and asking God why I was out there in below freezing temperatures.  That 20 miles included head on bitter cold winds, fatigue and a painful fall at 16 miles, complete with tears and a bruised wrist and ego.  But, part of me was excited to continue –persevere and be stronger than I had been before.

Two weeks later came my 23 mile run that would be my second to last long run and clearly the furthest this tired body had ever run.  I started out and felt good.  In my excitement, I got cocky about God’s provision and failed to ice and stretch after the runs.  Cue the ridiculous knee pain and buckling that would end my training and my ability to run for anything longer than 1 to 2 minutes at a time for nothing further than 3 miles total.  Did I mention that it was about 6 weeks before the race? 

UGH!!!

I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t spend a tearful week (at least) depressed that God would bring me to this point and then kick me to the curb.  I became angry at the hours and sweat equity that I had invested.  For what?  I was hopeful after that week that I’d get back to training and would still do my last long run.  Nope.  That certainly didn’t happen; the knee was simply not strong enough.

Wow.  I started feeling guilty.  God had given me such an opportunity.  Had I valued it enough?  Had I taken that for granted?  Had I been working toward glory for myself instead of God’s kingdom?  I cannot tell you how humbling that was to see a path that had looked clear and straight that suddenly became narrow and filled with blind curves.

As I sit here, tears well in my eyes, remembering the realization that I had taken God’s will in this and given it a back seat to my desire to excel.  This began a different thinking.  Perhaps God didn’t want me to run and instead wanted me to walk.  Ok…”That is still far, but ok, Lord.  I feel you working.  I just wish I knew why.”  I started working to keep my legs strong with low impact stuff and decided to pour over his words, begging God to help me follow this through however that looked while still honoring him for his glory.  I could feel him reassuring me that his way is always best.

Race week came.  The knee was still sore, but feeling better.  I had been dying to test it out and run but hesitated because I certainly didn’t feel that testing God was the right answer.  I prayed, “God please let me run some of it, but prepare me to walk.”  I was a ball of emotions and nerves at the opportunity.  As the gun went off, I ran with the crowd for a bit, feeling the surge of 6 months of waiting from the day of registration.  I’ll get into the details a bit more in the next post, but I will say that I will never forget the feeling of God carrying me, allowing me to walk/run the course and come across the finish line into the arms of my husband who believed in me all along.  It wasn’t the way I had thought it would look when I signed up, but it was God’s way.  And, he allowed me to see that he provides for those who persevere even when things feel lonely or impossible.  He is ALWAYS with you.  You just have to keep getting up when you fall.

Zephaniah 3:17~ “ For the Lord your God is with you.  He is a mighty savior.  He will take delight in you with gladness.  With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will reign over you with joyful songs.”

 Many of those miles were spent by myself on the road.  But, I was never alone.  I was surrounded by prayers from people God put in my life and cheers from my family and friends –all honoring the journey into a deeper faith that I was taking.

My God was, and is, bigger than an injury midway through training.  He is bigger than a layoff right at Christmas or a son moving away.  As Beth Moore says, “You will do what you can’t when you BELIEVE.” (emphasis mine)

(That black stuff on my arm?  That would be the smeared marker reading "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." While the marker didn't work out like I had thought, I'm glad I put the most important one on there first.)

 

 

What is God asking you to do?  Are you willing to do the hard stuff for him?

You Don't Have to Understand

Obedience.  It's a long word.  It has many syllables.  It means:

noun: 1. compliance with someone's wishes or orders or acknowledgement of their authority. 
2. Submission. (according to Dictionary.com).

But, it's more than that.  It's hard too.  Hard to do.  Hard to understand.  But, it is also necessary.  When we become a follower of Christ, we begin our journey to many things.  God never promises that the road will be easy or without potholes (or all out sinkholes).

He never promises that we'll understand the road while we are traveling it - be that by plane, train, car, bike, running or, yes, even walking.  BUT, he does promise it will be worth it.

No one has to understand your acts of obedience.  Those acts are between you and God.  Perhaps you can try to explain them, but I'd wager a guess that you may not be able to find words to fully explain it.  I struggle with that.  Sometimes explaining it, or trying to, just makes the act sound even crazier.  And yet, God is still asking you to do it - whatever that "it" may be.

The entire act of obedience is a seed planting sort of thing.  You are doing God's will even in the midst of difficulty or aversion.  God will use that obedience for his kingdom.  It may not happen today or tomorrow.  In fact, you may never get to see the result of your obedience; you may only be able to guess at the "why" of it all.  But, that isn't what obedience is about.  It is about being faithful, doing what God asks of you regardless of whether you either want to or understand why he is asking you to.  You have to step forward and lay it on the line, asking him to give you strength to forge along.

Obedience is a conscious act, one that you need to practice at.  Will you always get it?  Probably not. Will you fight with God over the thing he has asked you to do?  Probably, I sure did. Will you doubt God and try to talk yourself into the idea that God would never ask that of you? Quite possibly.  But, your obedience (and mine) holds so much for your life and your walk as God blesses you and gives you more ways to be obedient.

So, wake up, wipe the vestiges of sleep from the eyes of your life of control, stretch out the arms of your analytical, must-know-everything being and step out.  Spread the wings of your obedient heart.  It is longing to do something for God.  Soar in his love and provision.  He will make you strong when you think you cannot continue.  I promise you, the journey and the work will be worth it.


What has God been asking you to do?

Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Beauty in the Mess

As people, we are not much different than that of the might Sycamore tree.  We are layered.  We have the capability of being mighty and strong in a graceful way.

The trunk of a Sycamore sapling starts out small, with a dark covering of bark to protect it as it grows into a massive tree.  As the tree ages and faces weather, the bark peels down in places, exposing different, lighter colors.  And, in some places white.

We are the same way - innocent in our protective environment as a child - until the storms of life happen, tearing away at our protective "bark" and exposing the sensitive side.  This tearing away often causes scars, causes us to look or act differently.  It affects us.  It changes us.  We are not the same after it.

As the Sycamore grows and reaches towards the sky, it's branches spread, sometimes growing into a gnarly, curly, confusing mass of branches.  Our lives are not much different.

Sometimes the circumstances of our lives create a gnarly mess and layers of...well, "ick".  This gnarly mess may appear ugly to an onlooker.  Tangled.  Confused.  Messy.

God uses those massive branches of the Sycamore to create homes for wildlife; he uses them to protect from the wind; he uses them to create awe in the onlooker.  He can do the same for the tangled web of circumstances in our lives - mine and yours.

I once heard a lesson given to middle school students that has been forever etched in my mind.  It was that God makes beautiful things out of our messes - no mess is too big for God.  Nothing, nothing is ever too great or too big of a mistake for God to use in powerful ways.

So, let us be strong, graceful and mighty despite our tangled past or our gnarly present.  May we allow those layers to shine brightly and the hurts to float away on the wind like the layers that pull away from the mighty Sycamore. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10~ "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

From Travesty to Faith

We each suffer from qualities or traits that we wish did not exist in us.  For me, I have insecurities that drive me crazy at times.  I doubt myself.  I feed into the insecurity.  I hide from life.  I don't believe in myself.  I let it all limit me.

Guess what? There is one that enjoys this process - the devil.  He flourishes when I listen to that negative voice, when I doubt my capabilities, when I allow that voice to hold me back.  It is a travesty of the mind - truly.

My fear gets in the way of me following God, living out what he wants for my life.  It clouds my vision, brings me down, creates battles in my head...and really accomplishes nothing.  And, the devil throws a party every single time that happens, every single one.  I could get down on myself when I allow that to happen or I can choose to pray right then and there to give my fear over to the One that can eradicate it.  I can stop and realize:  " God would never say that about me.  God loves me regardless of how many times I stumble.  THIS ISN'T OF GOD."

Further, I can...no...will rededicate myself (flaws and fears) to God.  I will open every corner of my heart to his goodness and grace.  I will strive in faith to continue walking (or running) for Him.  And, if necessary, I will awake the next day and rededicate all over again before the devil gets a foothold on my day.

Call it a pact for my life, but I refuse to allow someone - devil or earthly person - to tell me that I am not enough.  I was uniquely made for a purpose.  I will strive to do that which I feel God is directing me toward.  My lifelong prayer will be that my faith grow deeply and take root, growing into a fortress, impenetrable by the dark one. 

Do you need to consider rededicating your life, giving up your fears? 

      
NOTE:  My marathon, crazy as it sounds, is my journey in faith to something I feel God wants to use.  And, I'm along for the ride...err run.

Exodus 15:2 "The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.  This is my God and I will praise him.  My father's God, and I will exalt him."                            

What is Success?

So, I missed my 4 mile training run last weekend...and both 30 minute runs last week.  I started beating myself up about it, calling myself a failure and the usual likes.

Tonight, I found myself thinking, searching, asking...asking about life, activities and so on.  Successes and failures.  I searched my heart and asked that God expose the successes to me.

Minutes later, I again thought about the missed run.  While my training plan did not get met last week, it is not the end of the world.  I spent time with my daughter just me and her - success.  I got to spend time with a friend at the mall - success.  I attended the high school ministry that I volunteer with and told a bit of my story while encouraging them to seek a relationship with God - success.  I got to bake cookies and make a mess with a few of those young ladies and get to know them a bit more - success.  I got to be the goofy mom I have missed dearly these past few years while baking with my daughter -success.  I got to serve kindergartners so another friend could attend church service - success.

Success really is relative, isn't it?  It depends on what your end goal is and what you are focused on.  This week it is back to training while juggling some of the above, but I find myself sitting here truly thinking that the break was worth it and for better things in the long run.

What does success look like for you?

Controlled Chaos

I am a person that struggles with OCD to some extent. I like things in their place, a certain way. I'm not the kind that will check the lights 5 times to be sure they are turned off, but definitely the type to be sure all the shampoo/conditioner bottles are turned label out and the bath towels are hung with the tag in...Yeah, structured...err, insanely so. On top of that, I struggle with ADD issues. That probably explains why I am happiest when organizing things, but the reason they never get done. If you ask me (and, anyone who knows me can attest), I'll tell you that I have at least a dozen projects started. That's right, started...not finished.

Anyway, enough background for you....to the reason for the post: Middle school students and volunteering to serve them-be a part of their lives.

About three years ago, I made the move from serving each weekend with children ages 2 to 4 years old to serving with 6th grade students. There was something about the environment (called 56 at my church which stands for 5th and 6th grade). There was an energy that I couldn't explain that I felt in the first 10 minutes of being in the room. I wanted a piece of that. It inspired me.

To be a life group leader, you end up with a group of students (girls in my case), generally about 10 to 12 or so, that you work with each week to discuss the lesson and challenge them to dig deeper in their spiritual walk and apply the lesson to their lives. You also keep tabs on them here and there...check in on them, you know. It sounded daunting when they first explained it, but I so loved that energy that I wanted to give it a shot.

You know my biggest worries?
1.) I wouldn't have the answer if asked a question of the Bible.
2.) I wouldn't be able to dress cool enough to fit in.

Sad on both counts. I wasn't raised in a Christian home and really was nervous that one of the students would site a scripture I had no clue of...GASP! I know, both seem kind of silly, but were valid anxieties that I was feeling. Many of my friends expressed doubt that I was planning to serve in this environment...They kept saying things like: "Oh, Amy...you know that it is crazy in there, right?...Amy, are you crazy? Why would you want to serve with those MIDDLE SCHOOLERS?" (They acted like they had the plague or something or would eat me?...)

Fast forward to today...I've been serving in middle school ministry, have moved up with them each year and now walk alongside them as 8th graders in JCrew. I've gotten the honor of attending weekly gatherings structured just for these students, all night events, community service events, 3 winter retreats and 3 summer week-long retreats, as well as life group events at my home or the nearest mall. These events are action packed, sleep-deprived events that require immense patience, a good supply of coffee and often tend to use up a number of vacation days.

You know what? I would not trade any one of them for something else. I would not trade one of them for a beach trip or a cabin trip. I would not trade one afternoon spent texting a student afraid of a failed test. I would not trade one week away with 200 students. I would not trade 24 hours of serving and cleaning and praying in inner city Philadelphia. Every single trip, every one, caused me to walk away with a greater appreciation for God and what He does in their lives...and in mine. Every trip gave me a greater appreciation for what God is doing in the hearts of these students. Every trip left me wanting more involvement.

You know what else? I've discovered that middle school ministry is far from chaotic and unstructured. To the observer (or some of my friends), it many seem that way...but, I've seen what goes into an event, seen what goes into a weekend gathering. There is an immense amount of planning to be sure that the environment is just right, that just the right song is played, that this pause be taken or that joke be made to make sure that the students have that opportunity to have it "click." I've also gotten to see the clicking part...you know, when a student finally "gets" it...realizes the power of the salvation offerred them and accepts it right where they are.

A few weeks ago, I got to be in the water for the baptism of one of these students. She wasn't a student from my life group, but one that I have had the pleasure to have at a few retreats. I had not had the opportunity to read her story prior to her baptism, so I wasn't sure what would be read from her letter. As I stood there encouraging her, I heard it: "I've always grown up learning about God, but it wasn't until my first retreat at UE that I really got to know Jesus and connect with him." Tears welled in my eyes...she had been with me for my very first week long summer retreat. In some small way, the lessons we learned and I helped teach (that we are all the family of God) made an impact. I was flooded with emotion that God had used me, even if I didn't realize it at the time. Seeds planted, sort of thing right there.

I'm often reminded that I wish I would have had a place to go like this when I was in junior high...someone to guide me, a "good" group of kids that do life together through thick and thin. But, I guess I get to be that in the smallest of ways for someone else and appreciate that they need it. Will I ever have all the answers?...I doubt it. But...

I now have come to realize that
1.) If I don't know, it is okay to say "I'm not sure, but let's find out together." and
2.) The students don't care what you wear or how you look as long as they know you love them and are there for them, accepting them right where they are in life and not judging them but challenging them.

So, it has been the perfect fit. I'm humbled, honored and proud to be a part of middle school ministry.

Into Every Cookie a Little Love Must Fall

WHAT IS IN A COOKIE?

I don't mean literally. I'm sure we all know that cookies are made with flour and sugar and generally lots of butter. [SIDENOTE: My husband never fails to gasp when he sees the quantity of butter that goes in the bowl. "Why do you need THAT much butter?" My response is always the same..."Because it makes them taste so yummy...they weren't meant to be healthy."]

The key ingredient to any cookie - any variety - is love. If you aren't' making them with love, something will go wrong almost every single time. You will be hasty. You might miss an ingredient or add too much. You might overcook. You name it.

For the past several years, I have taken on the task of making cookies to give away to the family at Christmas time. Chocolate chip, peanut butter chip, peanut butter, sugar, jam bars (yes, they are still cookies), mint chip, chocolate peanut butter chip, gingerbread, peppermint sandwich, peanut butter blossoms, Russian teacakes and anything else that shouts my name when I go through. I think the total usually comes in at about 700+ cookies until I'm done. Some are easy to make and others, well, they take time and care...and love.

BUT...the favorite cookie that we made last year would be the whoopie pies my daughter sold. It was an idea that she had gotten to pay for her retreat with our church. We chuckled when she came up with the idea. My husband and I kept reminding her to keep the $155 trip on her Christmas list, as she'd need all the help she could get. So, we made some posts and asked around. Soon enough, people started ordering 6 here and a dozen there. The orders just kept pouring in for these $1.00 whoopie pies that were double the size of any I've seen for sale. She, at 13, made enough in two days to pay for her entire trip. I was honestly blown away. When we talked about it, she was so excited, but then immediately asked if she could keep taking orders and help pay for someone else to go. I asked if she was sure and she continued, saying that people need to go on those retreats and that not everyone has the money or can go. She was adamant that she wanted to help. Who was I to stop her?

(via chefmom.sheknows.com)

All in all, she made a total of $510 in whoopie pie sales. I was blown away at the provision, truly. She had a faithful heart and it paid off. She was very, very busy baking for several weeks. All in all, she was able to go on the retreat free and clear, AND was able to send two other students and pay for a portion of another student. So many people commented that they were better than the whoopie pies at the local farmer's market. I can't tell you how proud my momma heart was.

Love...it is the key ingredient. You know, our daughter taught us something this Christmas. IF YOU HAVE FAITH LIKE A CHILD, BIG THINGS CAN HAPPEN.

This post is brought to you by Lets Blog Off, a bi-weekly random topic posted.


To see other posts, see below:

Sometimes You Have to Say "No" to Say "Yes" to the Right Things

Isn't it interesting to take a new year and dream about the possibilities that it holds? Isn't it fun to imagine a better you (either emotionally or physically)?
As part of the #letsblogoff series, I have chosen to look at the things I'm looking forward to in 2012.


I will preface this blog by saying that I'm not one to usually make resolutions, or if I do, I don't put them out there. You see, I'm a great starter by trade, but a horrible finisher. I hate defeat and hate admitting it even more. But, this is a new year and changes must be made to assure that 2012 isn't the same as 2011 or 2010.

This year, I vow to make myself slow down long enough to appreciate it. I don't want to be sitting around the fire in September wondering what happened to May and June. Did I truly show love to others? Can I even remember those times? I am planning to pick and choose my activities. My priority will be my family. There may be things that I might have to say "no" to, but those decisions will be run through the filter of "Is this best for my family?". Yes, I might just have to retire my Super Woman (or Splintergirl) cape and admit that I can't do everything.

I'm looking forward to continuing to work on my marriage and work on really listening to my husband and learning how to use the differences in the ways we approach things and communicate to make us stronger, to make our bond unbreakable. I'm looking forward to the work it will take to put us there.

I'm looking forward to seeing what will come of my husband's lay off. I'm hopeful that he will find a position that better suits his needs for a company that truly cares about him and his abilities. So, anyone in need of a very experienced AutoCAD draftsman with building designer and LEED experience that is working on his Architecture degree? :)

I'm looking forward to continuing to work with the middle schoolers at my church, especially my 8th grade girls' group. I love them to pieces. They honestly teach me so much about life without even realizing it and I only hope that the feeling is mutual. I aspire to inspire them, accpeting them as they are and challenging them to strive for more.

I'm looking forward to my work with Lancaster County Timber Frames, Inc. and really getting some much needed PR for the company. I love my job and my dream has always been to get a frame featured in a magazine. I'm not sure why that seems to be such a dream for me, but it is an accomplishment that I've been striving for. I'm also working towards making my position much more fluid and structured, so as to be as efficient and timely as possible.

On a personal side...the "for me" part...I am looking forward to continuing to run and really getting on a good schedule for that. I've always felt guilty going for a run when something else needed done. This year, I want to strive for a better balance of that and realize that the run is important for me for health reasons, but also emotional ones. I want to run my 2nd half marathon in under 2 hrs. 15 min. this October. I want to write more. It is something that love to do, but again, I don't make time for the things that I love. So, I'd love to blog weekly or at least write poetry.

Ahhh...so I've put this all out there. "All in" as I tell my daughter. Now, it will be up to me to see if I can actually fulfill this list or at least put myself in the right place to have a good start on it. Now, you know MY heart. What are some of the things that you are looking forward to?

If you'd like to read the posts of the other contributors to #letsblogoff, you can visit www.letsblogoff.com or view the chart below:


Photo credit goes to: cameronsong.blogspot.com

God's Half Marathon

In some fashion, I feel compelled to attempt to put words to today's events, today's emotion. As many of you know, I make no excuses or apologies for being a Christ follower. I use this term, rather than Christian, because I feel it best describes my walk. I AM a Christ follower. I strive every day to follow what God wants. Some days I fail miserably, but He lets me try the next day...that is His infinite grace. Grace that was afforded me by a huge sacrifice in my name...in your name. So, I get up each day and make the choice to try my hardest.

In any event, three months ago I entertained the idea of signing up for a half marathon. Immediately, negative speak started running through my brain. This negative speak is something I personally specialize in. I kept telling myself that, with two bad knees and the fact that I still walk portions of a 5k, I had no business signing up for anything longer than that, not to mention something as impossible as 13.1 miles. I told myself I couldn't...and, what did I get back? An almost audible "Yes, you can." I don't actually hear from God often (not in audible sounds), but I am certain this was Him. I had never been asked by God to do something such as this, but I felt maybe this was my faith test. (Trust me, I felt foolish even explaining this to people...I couldn't for the life of me figure out why a race would be a faith test.) I had never given over everything I had in me before...maybe that's what God wanted from me. So, I signed up...signed up even though I doubted.

I figured that I'd better start training if I were ever going to come close to finishing such a distance, as I still assumed that I couldn't...what with two bad knees, a quitter attitude and just being afraid, I couldn't. I started the week of the heat wave in July. I hated every minute of that week. I doubted. I doubted God's provision. I doubted my ability. As the weeks rolled along, I rolled up on 6.5 and 8.5 and then 10.25, it became harder and harder to stay healthy. My ankles ached, my back hurt, I questioned why I was doing this. I remember one conversation that I had with Him: "God, I have no idea why you want me to do this, but I'm here. I'm running for you...please take care of me because I can't do this without you." I wanted to quit when it hurt, I did. But, God provided. I kept finding it more and more amazing that He was keeping my knees from aching to the point that I'd have to quit...started trusting, but still doubted.

This week was race week. I spent the week feeling a mix of emotions...fear, anxiety, doubt, belief, resolve...you name it. When I picked up my race number and shirt yesterday, I nearly balled on my way to the car. I was awash with emotion that I couldn't explain. Today, I got out of bed, fully expecting the normal pre-race jitters-the sick stomach, the whole nine. I was nervous, but nothing like normal. This was God's Half Marathon (I had decided that) and I wanted so badly to make Him proud, to trust Him with everything I had, to give Him everything in me.

So, I ran proud and I ran strong, praying in the hard parts early near mile 2, recentering at mile 7 and pausing to celebrate a bit, and thinking often of God. By mile 9, though, I had run (or tried to run) hill after hill. My joints ached, I was trying hard, feeling so utterly alone out there and not really knowing if I could do this. I wished hard for someone, somewhere on a street corner, but knew the family and friends hadn't planned to be right there. I started to give up on myself, I did. I guess then, I would have been giving up on God too. Then, a song came on the player...not just any song, but one that moves my heart EVERY time I hear it. It is a song that reminds me of the huge sacrifice I mentioned in the opening paragraph. It is "What Do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road. I picked up my pace as tears welled in my eyes. God had been there all along, just waiting for me to cry out...and He responded in that instant when no earthly being could. I guess the tears came because I had diminished for that instant the power of God and His provision. I hadn't quite given Him the credit He was due.

So I kept running...I kept pushing past aches that were quickly forming to come into the park to find my smiling husband, Tim standing in the 10.5 mile area. My heart again moved to see him saying..."Just a little more. I'm so proud of you." I didn't feel like I could keep going, but he pushed me and kept it up. He met me at mile 12.50 to run me in. He ran the whole way with me and just keep saying..."Just a little more. You CAN do this." I had, you see, begun to already doubt again as I had struggled with the wind and struggled to get to mile 11 and 12...struggled to realize that I was so close to the end, but had nothing left. God gave me Tim, again right where I needed him and willing to run me into the finish line.

When I got to the stadium, He gave me a good friend that I could see at the finish line who immediately came and hugged me and congratulated me. God gave me friends and family praying for me during the day. He came through. He provided for me, just as He always promised.

I came home to rest for a bit and got up just a bit ago, filled with emotion and tears. I felt compelled to write out these events. I hope they inspire you in some way to either hear from God if you know Him, or to check Him out if you are far from Him. He knows our hurts and fears and He is right there to help me, you, us through them. He is just waiting for us to ask.

I don't know how He plans to use this race. Maybe, He just wanted me to be faithful. Maybe, His name will be gloried in other ways....that isn't for me to say or figure out.

I will not apologize for being a Christ follower, but I will apologive for the length of the post :) Feel free to leave a comment. P.S. I'll add a picture as soon as I get it downloaded.

Times are Changing...So Should Your Expectations

So, what is privacy?

One would think that this is a pretty easy question to answer...until you start to, well, answer it. Webster's says that privacy is:

"{noun} The quality or state of being apart from company or observation."

Ok, that definition maybe worked pre-techie age, I guess. Privacy used to mean that you got to spend your time in the bathroom with the door closed and by yourself. [Parents, you know exactly what I mean.] Thus, you were apart and free from observation.

In the advent of technology, the internet and social media, privacy comes to mean an entirely different thing. There are now levels of privacy (low, medium, high, super mega high). There are also now levels of assumed privacy.

All in all, my answer to what is privacy must relate back to "It depends". I know you think this is a cop-out, but it truly does depend.

For me, privacy (or my expected level of privacy) depends upon what I am doing or where I'm at. If I'm at home studying, writing or reading, I expect there to be a level of privacy. This simply means that my family will have the courtesy to not interrupt me. If I'm on the phone, I want (note, I have kids so I never fully expect) privacy and to not be eavesdropped upon. If I'm online, I want my private information protected.

Now, back to the on the phone and on the internet....While I WANT privacy in both instances, my want and what I expect to happen are two different things. I expect that my kid will eavesdrop while I am talking on the phone. Therefore, I choose my topics and words carefully. [I believe someone once said something like "Out of the mouths of babes."...yeah, you'd be surprised what they hear and remember.] Further, I enter each internet visit, transaction, social media post in the same manner. If I don't want the world to know what I am thinking or doing or wearing, I refrain from posting it, because I realistically know that ANYONE can see it.

So, privacy depends on the situation. But, just because we expect to have privacy, it doesn't mean that said privacy will be granted.

What do you think?

[This post is part of the #letsblogoff series. The question for this week was "What is this thing called privacy?"]


If you would like to see how the other participants responded, please check out www.letsblogoff.com or the table below:

Thumbtacks = Pride and Passion

I've taken several months off from writing...something I love. I keep wanting to, I do, but something always seems to come along that is a higher priority. On Twitter, there is something called the #letsblogoff. I love reading the topics and the entries and have for months thought that I should once again partake. So, in the spirit of all things good, this week's topic (re: THUMBTACKS) is one that struck me instantly and I knew, knew I had to participate. [sidenote: odd that that the odd topic struck me, right?]



So, thumbtacks? Well, first, thumbtacks are highly important - they hold important things down (or up), for one. Examples would be, say, a card, a list, a notice, directions, etc. I guess things that you may not look upon often, but things that need to be easy to find. Sometimes, they mark important points or direct your attention, be they in person or via virtual.

I began searching for a picture to post here. You know, some stock photo from a Google search. In doing so, I happened to look up from my desk to see the maps hanging on our office wall.

You see, these thumbtacks (or better termed pins) are placed on the maps, one for every timber frame that Lancaster County Timber Frames, Inc. (LCTF, Inc.) has erected since its inception in 1997. There are hundreds and hundreds of them. At one time, we had to make the decision to have a Pennsylvania/New Jersey map blow up just for those pins (yes, I'm aware that PA now looks as though it has measles).

But, I digress. These pins, and every pin that gets added when a timber frame job ships out, are a source of pride for me, for the other owners, for the crew, and for the client/home they depict. They represent our work, our passion. There are pins in Colorado, New Mexico, South Carolina, Wisconsin, Massachusetts, North Carolina and on and on. I smile fondly when I look at them and see trends or just remember a particular job that the pin represents. I smile even broader to see perspective clients enter and watch their eye be drawn to the board and take it in. So, for LCTF, Inc. thumbtacks represent pride and passion...doubtful the makers of the item thought that was the track it was going to take, but you never know, right?

Funny...and originally my post was going to be about how thumbtacks are an item that will never go out of style, much like duct tape and super glue. But, I like this direction more. What do you think?

Feel free to browse the others! Or you can look them up on www.letsblog.off.com :) Enjoy!

Forgiveness and Inner Turmoil

As thoughts of forgiveness roll through my head for the past several days, I struggle to understand what that is exactly. I must say, I often feel a bit foolish that I don't know, but I suspect that forgiveness is different for each person. But, is that right? Is that what was intended when we were called to forgive?

God forgives and forgets...His model of forgiveness is a perfect one. He sacrificed so much so that he could forgive us, so that we could be cleansed.

I suppose the forget part is where I'm stuck. Something inside of us, I believe, truly does want to forgive. We all want to be accepted and feel accepted...to be loved and feel loved. So, we want to forgive someone that wronged us...we want to get around the hurt that their action caused in us. We want to put it behind us and obey God's calling to forgive. But, how does one forget? Is it human nature to remember it? Is it Satan whispering in our ear to cause turmoil? Is it the victim in us that feels it is easier to keep holding up that hurt than to do the work it takes to allow God to wash it clean?

Is there a limit to the number of times you should forgive a person for an action? I'm struggling with that in both the granting of forgiveness and the asking for it. If a person struggles with anger and needs to humble themselves each time they lose their cool (as they should to make amends), is there a limit to the number of times the "forgiver" needs to address their "I'm sorry"? Or, is the sheer fact that they need to ask forgiveness so many times a sign that the two people just shouldn't interact? Because, if true forgiveness is not granted, the wound will fester...it will grow and build and become such an ugly monster that it will be filled with anger, bitterness and resentment for both parties. One will feel like they are never good enough and the other will feel like they shouldn't have to be bothered. Either way, both parties lose. Bitterness and resentment can only breed a lose-lose situation.

So, it is easy to say the words "I forgive you", but are you willing to take the steps it takes to forget...really forget and to trust? That's probably the hardest of the steps to take.

Our hearts want so badly to guard against hurt...we all hate to be wounded, we hate to feel unloved or unaccpeted. So, we will either hand that over for redemption or we will carry it around with us to cause us further pain down the road. Often, I don't think the latter is a conscious choice...just one that seems to happen. It is sad that words sometimes can be so hurtful that we don't know quite how to process them...one or two words can cause instant anger, hurt, love, or joy, depending on how they are delivered and what the circumstance is....something to be aware of in the process, I guess.

I suppose it is never too late to assess a situation and give it over. Sometimes, these things just take time and lots of conscious efforts (however small) and baby steps...everyone's timeline is different, I suppose.

Who Are You Seeking Glory For?

So...the past few weeks for me have been ones of disarray and disfunction. I have felt uneasy about the feeling, but could not understand why I had those feelings. Nonetheless, these feelings were suffocating me. I was feeling emotional, easily angered, overwhelmed...you name it.

After several really empowering sermons and/or nudges, I have been left wondering if I'm doing life correctly. Am I using what I have been given to the fullest...and for the right reasons?

I discovered long ago that life is about a balancing act. It is about doing various things throughout your day to make life "work". So often, I think I (we) fill our days with things, but never take into consideration whether they are necessary in the essence of life working. I know for me, I tend to overcommit to too many things. I enjoy being involved with people, with creativity and with excitement. If I'm being honest (and I generally attempt to on this forum), my motives for being involved are often for the wrong reasons.

That is not to say that something beautiful and exciting will not come from the experience, but it has left me wondering if I truly glorified God in that situation. Was I yearning for acceptance and praise or was I yearning to glorify God? Many times...and sadly as it may be...I think I end up looking for the praise and acceptance.

So, does that mean that I never volunteer or get involved? No. It means that I, me...an individual trying to be more aware, think through my motives prior to committing and it means that I review those motives throughout and continue to make sure that I am doing it as a means to bring glory to the One, rather than myself. I don't and shouldn't need the glory...my glory will come some day, but I need not be concerned with that now.

I should note that it is clear that several of the things I'm involved in are certainly glorifying God and it excites (and humbles) me to be able to be used by Him in such a way. It simply means that care, as in any other situation, needs to be taken. Will I always succeed? Probably not, but awareness is key...and baby steps are important.

The picture above, I felt sums it up nicely. Prayer will help me (or you) with that balancing act. That glory for God comes through awareness of who He is and what He yearns for...and to find that, you need to be talking/listening to Him.
[Picture "borrowed" from cascadebiblechurch.com]

I'm Creative, You're Creative, Wouldn't You Like To Be Creative Too?

The question of the day is: What is creativity?

When first thinking about my response, I couldn't help but think that this is a bit of a loaded question. What creativity is to me is obviously different from the person next to me or even miles away. I mean, really, to me creativity means being orginial, imaginative...blah, blah, blah. So, before I get into my thoughts of creativity, I thought I'd see what the good 'ole folks at dictionary.com had to say:

cre·a·tiv·i·ty   ~noun
1. the state or quality of being creative. [Wow, that sure was helpful.].
2.the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination. [Ahhh...my idea of original is here!]
3. the process by which one utilizes creative ability. [Again, helpful, no?]

Ok, now that I've taken you to the dictionary definition, let's see how that applies in a practical light:

Creativity can be using one's imagination to create something new, forming words, writing, dancing, drawing, painting you name it. It could be figuring out how to stop a dripping window by taping a cup to it until conditions are right to fix the window [Yes, this is a personal experience of majestic creativity right there.]

No matter what the situation is and no matter whether you end up with the same outcome as someone else, being creative is about using the resources you have in your reach or in your repertoire of skills to make a situation work or make it better. Ahh...maybe "resourceful" is a better definition...or "imaginative resourcefulness". I think we may be getting somewhere!

So, to apply this to life in the construction or design industry: Creative is making something interesting, using the resources available to you; yes, that does include materials available AND money in the budget available. Sometimes, that means designing a project and value engineering it to fit the budget and still be interesting. Again, being resourceful.

It is my belief that creativity cannot be taught...you either have it or don't. BUT, creativity obviously means different things to different people. You can be creative with your budget, your menu, your outfit, your problem solving...whatever. I strongly believe that I am creative and I pride myself on that notion. BUT, who am I (or you) to judge wheteher someone else is creative?

What do you think?




I hope you enjoyed my brief look at what creativity means to me...this is another issue of the #letsblogoff posts that I have thoroughly enjoyed over the last several months. P.S. I got a very curious message from my husband from the last post. It read "So, I just read your obituary." My only response was...."ahhh...about that."

To check out the other participants, check the growing list below:

Am I Really That Person?

Amy Good (aka Splintergirl) passed due to naturally accidental causes while rescuing 3 kittens from a collapsing steel structure building when her cape failed. Had the building been timber framed the structure would have held up longer.

Oh wait…that would be the comic book version.

Before you freak out, this post is going somewhere. It is a submission to the bi-weekly Lets Blog Off topics. I found it to be a great inward look at who I am versus who I'd like to be.


Amy Good, 85, of Mount Joy, PA passed in her sleep due to natural causes. She is survived by her loving husband, Timothy, a son and daughter-in-law Clayton and Nicole, a daughter and son-in-law Courtney and Eric, 8 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.

Amy was a long time member of LCBC (Lives Changed By Christ) in Manheim, PA where she continued to serve with middle school students. Amy was the retired CEO of Lancaster County Timber Frames of York, PA. She was a good friend, listener, and lived life with a heart full of passion and will be remembered for the little things – a hug here, cookies there, a listening ear or helpful act there. Those who knew Amy would know that she would not want them to dwell on sadness, but celebrate.

In lieu of flowers, it is asked that donations be made to either March of Dimes or American Cancer Society.

My word….I aspire to be all those things. This is a good reminder to be mindful of my actions...and, hey, I have 50 years to perfect it, right?

Other submissions can be found here:

Gobble, Gobble....zzzzzzz

So, what does Thanksgiving mean to me? Hmmmm....



I find it interesting that the meaning of the day has changed for me over the years. It used to merely mean a couple luscious days off school, a little shopping (nothing 3 a.m. crazy) with my mom, tons and tons of mashed potatoes (my favorite) and chilling to play games with my beloved Grandmother and family.

Now, the day is generally spent with me getting up early in the morning because I was too lazy to make my portion of the meal, which is usually some new dessert I've been dying to try out. I live 5 hours away from my parents...sadly, I've since lost my Grandmother and don't make the trek home for the holiday meal like I used to. Instead, we go to my in laws for dinner with them and my husband's brother's family. It is cozy. I don't have to make a turkey, which I cherish. [someday I'll have to tell you about the year I made a turkey on the grill because my stove blew up...best turkey I've ever eaten.] The day is spent chatting around the table, playing games, looking at circulars, and trying to relax.

While I no longer get to go Black Friday shopping, that suits me fine. I hate crowds of people and hate the commercialism that Christmas tends to bring. It seems that this nation has forgotten to cherish the holiday that causes deep reflection. This is evidenced by the Christmas ads that you now see even before Halloween. It is sad and breaks my heart.

In my home, I have a strick rule that is enforced. NO CHRISTMAS MUSIC UNTIL THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING! Yes, I am very strict about this, because I never want my daughter to forget to be thankful. It is already sad enough that we blow through most of the year without remembering to cherish the simplicity of our lives, the little blessings and the big ones, and just the dog-gone time with family and/or friends.

My goal at some point is to go for and early Thanksgiving lunch with family and then go as a family to serve meals at the local shelter. For me, I believe that would complete my day more than any parade could.

Laugh at the Little Things

So, I've been challenged to answer the question of "What Makes Me Laugh". Hmmmm...it has, I must say, created quite the thought process for me, because I enjoy laughing and it made me realize just how often I do truly laugh.

[Sidenote: I am highly medicated on cold meds...hope this all makes sense :)]

Ok, in case I haven't told you before (although I'm pretty sure I have), I'm a dork, so I tend to laugh at stupid things. For instance, I find the commercial for Scared Shrekless hysterical...every time the gingerbread man poops jelly beans because he is afraid, I bust up laughing. Honestly, I could be in the middle of a conversation and laugh about it. I truly tried hard to find an image on the internet, but failed. Commercials that show people running into things, such as signs or doors, also spur on loud belly laughing from the pit of my stomach. Depending on the commercial, it will envoke tears with that laughter. I know...it's just a commercial, right? But...why not enjoy life?

Besides items seen on TV, I tend to laugh at silly things. I find squirrels, yes, squirrels to be hysterical creatures and will often pass many a minute watching them outside the window. (I'm sure they'd be less funny if they were inside my house.) But, seriously, tell me they are not funny to watch with their tail twitching back and forth? My dog creates much laughter in that she is so gosh darned carefree about life. She chases that ball like it is the last available ball on the Earth. My dog also uses the most interesting ways to seek my attenion and never fails to bring a smile and chuckle as a response from me (note above picture). After giving this aspect some thought, I realized that sometimes the most innocent of things creates laughter within me. I think it is mainly due to the fact that they are true and real in their simplest of forms.

Times with friends usually and almost always inspires laughter at some pathetic and silly act. Generally, it wasn't, but done by accident....be it a mislad word or phrase or action that just was out of the blue.

Sure, jokes are funny, but I always feel like I need a fake laugh for them. True laughter comes from the things that arent' planned...the things that just happen. Sometimes those are trips or falls (as long as the person isn't hurt...well, maybe even if they are-hardest thing ever to hold in a laugh of that nature) or just a snapshot of life as we know it. Hmmm...maybe this question is harder to answer than I first thought.

What do you think?

The blog post was inspired by the #letsblogoff folks. All of the other entries can be found at www.letsblogoff.com. Have a read to see what makes others laugh.

Connected....but Not Really Community?-TAKE 2

Ok, so I jumped the gun a little last week and posted my #letsblogoff topic too soon. Yes, I did wonder why no one else had a stream going of posts, but somehow convinced myself that I was just in stealth mode and got there first. Dreamland, right?



P.S. Since my post, I've decided that being an introvert excludes me from many things and that if I can be outgoing once I'm in a group of people I know, I can be outgoing in a group of people I've never met. The challenge is set and I refuse to be one of the statistic that feels they need an internet connection all the time to keep their family together and/or friends together.

Enjoy the post (below)!