Thursday, November 6, 2008

Are We Different?

So, I am sitting here today trying to figure out where time has gone. There is a song called "Don't Blink". Well, it seems that is what I have done in some way. Time seems to be flying by at such rapid rates. Every year seems shorter and shorter in some way. And, through it all I am left with the question of "What did I DO this year? Did I really have an impact? Did my life make a difference?"

Some days, I feel on top of the world and on top of my games and can truly say...YUP! I had an impact. I suppose also that it depends upon how big your impact must be before you think it makes a difference. Does that make sense?

Often what we don't realize is that even a smile to a passerby may have a huge impact on that person's life. A simple "Hello" and you've possibly made their day. Sometimes, God has placed people in our lives to lend encouragement (sometimes without even knowing it). Man! We do have an awesome God. Sometimes, it is the things around us that He has given us.

For me, it is the huge Maple tree that I pass on my way home...majestic and colorful. Although it is not my property, it is like God placed that tree there just for me. It brightens my day and cheers me up. Or, the squirrels that play in the yards I drive past. I can honestly say that I think the squirrel is one of the best animals He created. It is hard not to chuckle (or even smile) when one looks at a squirrel with their tail flitting or when they run through the grass.

BUT, I'm left with the pondering thought....why don't I notice this stuff every day? Why don't I appreciate His creations all the time? Have we become a society that is so busy that we take the creations of our Lord for granted. Have we become so distracted from what REALLY matters? I think to some degree we have.

Today, I urge you to go out and smile to at least 3 people you don't even know...take 20 minutes to just observe nature and His creations and then spend just a few minutes saying "Lord, thank you for everything. I would be nothing if it weren't for you."

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Chaos After the Storm?

Well, we are FINALLY married! It seemed like those last few months drug on and on and then all of a sudden the last week flew by in a flurry of craziness. We went away on a much needed honeymoon retreat and all I can say is WOW! The place was amazing and the definition of a world away. Now, we are back to doing life....real life again and I'm back to feeling like there are more things to do than I have time for in a day.

I would like to think, though, that I'll be a bit more relaxed about it and soon learn to not be so stressed and paniced about getting things down RIGHT NOW. Tim is learning that I definitely have "issues", but I think he knew that prior to the marriage...maybe just didn't know how deep these obessive-compulsive issues went and just how darn ignorant they really were. Yeah, I know that they are stupid, but I still find myself straightening towels so they hang straight or turning them so the tag isn't showing or turning all of the shampoo bottles so the labels are all facing out. Meanwhile, I have no problem walking past an unmade bed on my way to work. Go figure, right? I can't explain it and have given up trying.

Anyway, we are going Friday to meet what I hope will become a new family member in our household....a white shepherd that is between 10 and 11 months old. The story of how we came upon her just seems so much like a sign that I couldn't resist. I am nervous, nervous, nervous, but I know that we will be able to provide her a good home and am happy to have something "to walk" in the evenings. All in all, I'm really, really excited about the whole thing. As Tim and I have been saying, "WOOF"!

So, am I adding to my chaos? Sure, but I'm not sure I'd know how to live without a bit of chaos in my life. Besides, I have a really hard time not be-friending an animal. Here's a picture of is a bit old, but look at those ears! I can't wait to meet her.


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Feeling Sentimental it's been a bit over a month since I decided to write anything. Things have been pretty busy. Tim and I are down to 25 days to go until the wedding and there is a flurry of activity happening. It seems that there was a period of about 3 months of quiet and now we are kind of in this storm--busy, but wonderful.

We got to spend the summer with Clayton and that was good. It is always hard for me to hug him goodbye and know that I won't see him again for another month. I'm so pleased that he will be able to be in the wedding and have a part of such a special day. I only hope that he is feeling proud to have that place as well.

With everything going on, I have been feeling extremely sentimental these past few days. I'm not sure what exactly it is. Monday morning, I was greated with pictures of my beautiful little girl on my email. She is 10 now and it seems like just yesterday I was watching her walk for the first time. Now, she's talking about clothes and hair like she is already a teenager. Wow! But, I am truly blessed to have her in my life. She is alot like me, which causes disputes that happen on a regular basis. She is stubborn and strong willed - this is where we are similar and this is what causes arguements that tend to escalate. But, she has a quality that I'm not sure where she got...she has this huge, giving heart. It's one of the things that I truly love about her (that and the gorgeous freckles). God has blessed me in countless ways.

Getting to know Clayton as an adult, I see the same sort of giving spirit. I see a gentleness about him beneath the surface. Sure, he tries to go for the tough-guy exterior, but it does exist. He is becoming quite the young man as well and is truly as smart as a whip in both math and science. He is my miracle child...born at 4 lbs. 6 oz. and 2 months early. He spent the first month of his life in NICU on machines, under jaundice lights, and being poked and proded several times a day. At a week or so old, he received a full blood transfusion because his cell counts just were not high enough. He's a fighter, that's for sure.

I look back on some of the decisions that I've made in my life. Some, I look at and feel ashamed or remiss. Others, I look back and feel honored that those decisions (even if they were hard) molded me into the person I am today. Although my path was sometimes rocky, God paved a way for me to get through it. He laughed with me when I laughed and he cried with me when I cried, rejoicing in the fact that He had a plan.


Thursday, July 3, 2008

Put A Little Thought Into Life

I was sent an email know, one of those ones that you are supposed to fill out with your opinions? Well, for me, this one was much different from the normal. At first it started out much the same, but once I got involved with it the questions seemed very thought provoking to me....You know, things that you SHOULD think about more often, but don't tend to because you're too busy or something?

In any event, here are the questions and my answers. I hope that it leads you to travel through the questions and also be struck with a moment of quiet thought....

1. I've come to realize that my boobs...have gotten bigger over the last few years, but will still never be DD.
2. I've come to realize that my exactly where I should be....even if it does drive me crazy somedays.
3. I've come to realize that when i'm driving...I think best.
4.I've come to realize that i learn to relax and just have faith.
5. I've come to realize that I have much of my life trying to make it come out my way and stressing about all of that instead of just enjoying where I'm at.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when....I'm wrong or when my temper flares.
7. I've come to realize that when I'm drunk...I tend to be grouchy....or sick.
8. I've come to realize that money...cannot buy happiness, it can't buy love, and rich people are rarely truly happy. Money corrupts.
9. I've come to realize that there's certain people...that I could not imagine my life without.
10. I've come to realize that I'll always be....a mom and that is something that no one or custody paper can take away.
11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on...Tim, along with an undying love.
12. I've come to realize that my dad..does love me, but may just not know how to show it.
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone is...a pain in the butt to carry around over the summer.
14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning......I feel like I didn't sleep enough, but can't go back to sleep either.
15. I've come to realize that before i go to sleep...I rarely remember to take my medicine.
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...whether the pizza is soon done and how I'm going to get everything done.
17. I've come to realize that not always the nicest person to be around and that I am very selfish.
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace...Not there yet...Facebook, but not Myspace.
19. I've come to realize that today ...was stressful, but tomorrow is another day.
20. I've come to realize that tonight...I'm going to chill out and "prep" for tomorrow.
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will..try harder to stay focused.
22. I've come to realize that children.....are a blessing and a curse at times, but that God instilled undying love for them no matter what.
23. I've come to realize that the last guy i was with...was not the one for me.
25. I've come to realize that friends...are priceless.

Enjoy your day!!!!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Life in the Fast Lane?

Ahhh...we are back from vacation. It was...nice.

Well, just an update on the whole packing thing for you. No, I didn't get my list done Thursday before leaving; nor did I get the grocery shopping done. I opted to lay low and just go to sleep when I felt tired (something about knowing that the week would be busy?). So, Friday morning was filled with an early start to finish the list, round up every essential needed so that I would be fully prepared, and nursing Courtney's sore ear. Did I mention that she had what appeared to be a swimmer's ear or ear infection that required her to come home early from day care? So, in the early morning hours of desperation, I started roaming the house with my list. It probably would have been funny to the carrying a laundry basket to the bathroom to get the shampoo, conditioner, soap, sunscreen, etc. and basically emptying the medicine cabinet of every possible medicine that we "might" need over the week. Yes, it was only Altoona and there are stores, but if you know me then you know that it was an essential item to pack. So, before making the call to the doctor I instruct Courtney to just try to clean her ears out to "see". The result was an ecstatic child who informed me (in very loud words): "I CAN HEAR! IT DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE!" I, as you might guess, was elated and continued about my work.

There were several other "issues" that made the day interesting on Friday (aka packing day). I won't go into huge detail other than the facts that we somehow misplaced the key to the car carrier and I had to "break in", we weren't sure when or how we were getting Clayton (the well-known great communication there), and things were quickly looking as though vacation was a bad idea. All in all, we hit the road for Altoona and our adventure to a new park.

The cabin was amazing and much more modern than we were used to but very nice....the park had a great view and was mainly quiet, but a little too close to civilization (the house we could see from our camp). The weather was beautiful and we all got along great considering some of the conflict that was present.

We got back home on Friday and unpacked and just tried to settle in. Saturday I awoke to a very strange feeling of being unsettled. I couldn't explain it at all....I just seemed to be having difficulty getting back into the swing of things. It was a fairly busy weekend with the Keener cookout (which was excellent!) and Tim's family reunion on Sunday afternoon. We were still using the "We're still in vacation mode." on Sunday....I guess that all ended when the alarm rang Monday morning to bring me dipping back to reality. The first goes off at 5:00 for those days that I feel awake enough to work out. The next alarm goes off at 5:15 for the slight reminder that I may want to get my butt moving. The final alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. stating: "HELLO! Get the heck up and get your shower!" Well, this was of course earlier than any day I had risen from bed for the back 10 days. Needless to say, it was 5:40 when I finally heard the alarm and realized that, however slugish, I had to get moving. Work was intense with unburying my desk.

Wish me luck today as I attempt to "get back to normal". Sometimes I'm sure that we all ask ourselves if vacation was really worth it when we return to a huge pile of things to do. Well, it definitely is, which is why I insist upon going. Those bonding times with the family are worth a little stress on both sides of it!.....just gotta remember to breathe!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Wedding Hub-Ub and....

Whew! We are now just under the 3 month mark for the wedding and activity has picked up dramatically! We have been given 3 books to read for "self improvement", if you will. I'm excited to get started on them, but at the same time stressed that they are, well, kind of takes the fun out of reading a bit. But, that being said, I'm excited and feeling fully replenished and ready to jump in head first. I guess you could say that Tim gives me the ability to have that energy and actually encourages it.

June will be filled with invitation planning, tuxedo finalizing, menu stuff, and vacation. Yikes! Vacation is approaching sooo fast and I've yet to even begin to consider what we need to pack or make a list. (Yes, I'm a list maker. I insist upon having one to pack for any trip.) There's also the little detail of figuring out what all there is to do so I have some idea of cost and such prior to our arrival. I'm excited, though, the place has a lake with a beach front and I'm really looking forward to spending some time with just "us".

It occurred to me the other day that under all of the weight, I'm not as stressed or anxious as I could be. There are definitely very tense moments, but overrall I'm just trying to take things in stride (check with me next Thursday when I'm trying to throw together last minute stuff for the trip....things'll probably be different then :o) But, we are still having fun and I'm trying very hard to remember patience and to relax. God is there for me....I just need to remember that and be mindful that He is with me always.